Lady in Bed

Gareth K Vile: This is a very personal show, which takes in your own personal life, and seems to stand between comedy and monologue theatre. What influenced you to go for such a brave approach to the subject (most dear to us all, perhaps!)

Alison Goldie: Live theatrical performance has been my chief medium of expression all my life, and the art form in which I am most practiced, and most skilled. When I decided to use my love-life as material, it was natural to me to turn it into a performance rather than say, a novel or film. Although I used to be a stand-up comic (many years ago now) I had never written or performed a one-person theatre show and I felt that this material would be the right stuff for such a thing. The challenge was to make a show that would be of a very high standard using just me and the minimum of set (I love portable theatre and knew I wanted to travel easily with the piece). I had a good pedigree in ‘poor theatre’ with my two-woman company, The Weird Sisters (1996-2002), and we had dealt with sensitive personal material in our plays before. Lady in Bed, however, marks a new level of confessional theatre for me, and the whole process of creating it and performing it has been fascinating, challenging but very enjoyable. It’s funny you talk about ‘monologue theatre’ because I never think of the piece as a monologue! I’m so busy inhabiting lots of characters and switching from situation to situation that the show feels very ‘peopled’ even though it is just me. People have said that they have come away thinking that they could describe the wallpaper in a room I’ve conjured up (though I never mention the wallpaper), and that they feel that they really know the men I portray even though it’s a short woman with long hair playing them.

When you reflected on your past loves, did you feel that your experiences were universal, or did you find yourself in territory that might be unfamiliar to many people? Exploring something like this must be frightening, as it strikes at the heart of who we think we are... and the reflection might not be flattering...

I was pleasantly surprised about how universal the play has turned out to be. It seems, from woman after woman in the audience, that they recognize the situations I’ve been in with lovers, particularly the emotional stuff. Men too have said that they can relate to it strongly, but for some of them, I think there’s the added dimension of seeing these love stories from a woman’s point of view, and perhaps, understanding the female perspective a little better. A guy at the Buxton Fringe was quoted in the official review as saying he ‘ experienced what it was to be a woman’ when watching the show. I really can’t say I speak for all women, heaven forfend, but I do think that it’s amazing how the genders can have broad qualities that define them and make their experience of love different, even when they’re getting into bed together.

If my adventures are unfamiliar to people, it is only because I’ve always been a restless type and my unstable job as a performer has led to the opposite of a lifestyle normally touted as desirable (marriage, kids, house…) A rickety itinerant life makes for some memorable stories, and some of the stories in the show are based around travels abroad and men met on the road. These days, however, most people have travelled so I’m not so exotic… Maybe I’m not typical in that I’m relentlessly self-analysing, like a female Woody Allen, and the circuitous cogitations that go on in my brain, about love in particular, are so familiar to me, a perpetual discussion with myself, that when it came to writing down Lady in Bed, it didn’t take a lot of deep drilling to get the material out.

People often say I’m ‘brave’ for what I reveal in the show, but I don’t think I am. An egotist possibly. A fearless seeker of truth (I’d like to think). Mainly, I’m an actor/writer that wants to entertain and inform and make people feel better about life and if I can do that whilst talking about my favourite subjects, love and sex, with some drugs and rock n’ roll on the side, I’m happy.

Have you had any responses from the people who appear in your past?

About half of the ex-boyfriends in the show know that they’re in it but haven’t seen it yet. I’d rather they didn’t announce themselves as it might make me a little queasy to know they were in (even the ones who get a really good press might discover some ‘new’ stuff about themselves like when you discover a photo that you didn’t know was being taken and you don’t look as you thought). When I’ve told some ex-lovers they’re NOT in it, they get a bit disappointed, as if this means they didn’t make the grade. In truth, I could only use half a dozen stories to do them in depth, so you’ll have to wait for Lady in Bed 2, guys. My best friend, Kath, is in the show and she’s happy with my portrayal of her, thank goodness (though I play her as rather a cool customer to place her in contrast with the more bumbling me).

What is a flirting facilitator? In fact, do you have any tips for me? I've spent the last year mooning over someone who, in classic style, hardly knows I exist. My bedroom looks like a Tracy Emin... oh, sorry... lost my point there

I genuinely teach flirting workshops (Flirtshops, ho, ho) often in residential settings where we have two or three days to get stuck into the issues with groups of 10-20. Flirting is not rocket science but, like other forms of communication, human beings can be absolutely rubbish at it and need a bit of help. So, my course looks at body language and voice and opening gambits and why people sabotage themselves, and has lots of practical tips. It sounds like you need a big confidence boost to approach this person and get direct with them. One of the role-play exercises I do involves making people practice getting a stranger’s phone number in one minute. You need to cut to the chase. Get yourself tarted up, do some serious deep breathing (oxygen kills fear) and ask the golden one to go on a date with you. If they’re sniffy about it, drop ‘em like a hot coal, and talk to other attractive people until you find one who responds positively. It’s a numbers game. (And take a look at what masochistic pleasure you’re getting out of ‘mooning’ about someone for a WHOLE YEAR).

And finally- why the Fringe? What keeps bringing you back?

The siren call of the bagpipes, and the possibility of shagging a man in a skirt.