Opinion
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OpinionCrystal Baws: July 2012 Horoscopes
ARIESThrough your Fisher Price binoculars you spot more UFOs. This time there are thousands of them, looking almost exactly like love heart balloons. You cat... Read more »| 04 Jul 2012 -
OpinionCrystal Baws: June 2012 Horoscopes
Ready to find out what June has in store for you? What do you mean, no?! Gaze into our Crystal Baws. We command you... Read more »| 12 Jun 2012 -
Opinion10 Things You Didn't Know About Eurovision
Stand-up comedian and Eurovision obsessive shares the secret history of the world's greatest artistic event Read more »| 07 May 2012 -
Opinion
Crystal Baws: May 2012 Horoscopes
ARIES You’ve always told people you were an 'animal lover' but no-one ever thought you meant literally. In May you experience love at first sight when... Read more »| 02 May 2012 -
Opinion
Crystal Baws: April 2012 Horoscopes
ARIES April sees you take David Cameron’s Thomas The Tank Engine face, cut it off, stick it to a real train and then crash it into another train with ... Read more »| 02 Apr 2012 -
OpinionPreparing for the Apocalypse: Anticipating the End
With less than 10 months left until the Apocalypse, I decided to get all my survival research done as early as possible. Obviously, when the world ends, th... Read more »| 01 Mar 2012
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Opinion
Crystal Baws: March 2012 Horoscopes
ARIES Saturn’s adverse ring angle means you find yourself still inhabiting a rat-infested basement with a broken toilet and no lights in March. Try no... Read more »| 28 Feb 2012 -
Opinion
Simon Munnery: "I'm a bit obsessed by the R101 airship"
Simon Munnery returns to Scotland with a strange fusion of inventive engineering and comedic ambition Read more »| 23 Feb 2012 -
Opinion
Crystal Baws: February 2012 Horoscopes
ARIESThis month you finally find your soul mate. Lucky for you it turns out to be twins.TAURUS10 minutes after taking the red pill you’re still enthusi... Read more »| 01 Feb 2012 -
Opinion
Preparing for the Apocalypse
It has been predicted that the world is going to end on 21 December 2012. This column will now be dedicated to detailing exactly how prepared I am for this inevitable Apocalypse. The answer, as you will see, is 'TOTALLY FUCKING VERY' Read more »| 01 Feb 2012 -
Opinion
What do comedians expect from reviewers?
Reviewers are an occupational hazard for comedians, but who reviews the reviewers? Local legend Teddy tells us what he'd like to see in critics. Read more »| 25 Jan 2012 -
Opinion
Crystal Baws: January Horoscopes
ARIESAfter going off the rails at New Year and thereafter orbiting through a belt of her own sick astronomers discover Venus is pregnant with another planet.... Read more »| 11 Jan 2012 -
OpinionThe Apocalypse: An Introduction
We always knew the world would end; the signs were obvious. Alvin and The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked taking $443,140,005 at the box office is pretty much how the... Read more »| 10 Jan 2012 -
Opinion
2012: The Impenetrable Click's User Guide
What does the future hold? Will the Mayan prophecy come true in 2012? What should I have for lunch? Glasgow sketch anarchists The Impenetrable Click answer your questions about the year ahead... Read more »| 10 Jan 2012 -
Opinion
Santa And I Are Done Professionally
Generally, science makes everything better. There's hardly a thing in the world that can't be improved upon by introducing 5 AAA batteries and an electr... Read more »| 05 Dec 2011