Norway: Fjord Sierra

When it comes to natural beauty, Norway takes the piss. I should say first, before launching into a full-fledged sales pitch, that I’m a massive fan of the Scottish Highlands. If you’re planning a weekend away, and you have yet to spend a weekend roadtripping/walking/cycling the Highlands – and the Far North in particular – then you really need to go. The Outer Hebrides, too, are genuinely phenomenal.

But while Scotland’s wild places have that powerful ruggedness, that humanising sense of history, those incredibly atmospheric colours – all of which are in a worldwide class of their own, Norway still takes the piss. And it’s really close – just over the North Sea.

What I mean is more grand than mere geographical and geological one-upmanship though: the fjords are like nothing else you’ve ever seen, something that’s hard to believe is even real, something simultaneously humbling and inspiring: not so much ‘out of this world’ but for sure this world at its very apotheosis.

Sure, New Zealand has fjords too. And Yosemite National Park in California has those dramatic rock formations to add to the glacier-carved drama. But these incredible destinations share the scale of wonder we’re talking about in Norway – kilometre high cliffs plunging into the sea, waterfalls dropping from the heavens every way you turn – and, to reiterate, it’s really not far away; an hour and a half on a dinky but comfortable propeller plane.

Famously, the real obstacle to getting to Norway is the price. And realistically, it’s a factor. A decent dinner is going to set you back at least a tenner, a beer – not even a pint – over £6. Happily flights aren’t too much of a burden: book a bit in advance and you can tickets from Wideroe – a branch of the biggest Scandinavian fleet SAS – for around £60-£70 each way. They’re not a budget airline, so you get comfort, and delivery direct from Edinburgh or Aberdeen airport to Bergen or Stavanger. Hassle is minimal, and both destination cities are extremely well placed to access some frankly awesome scenery.

Many of the options for cutting on costs are the same as anywhere: couchsurfing is well established in the country, and the quality of accommodation is likely to be excellent; stocking up in supermarkets rather than eating out makes a huge difference; as does getting away from the obvious tourist spots (Bergen is a fun city of World Heritage cultural standing, well worth a visit in its own right, but you won’t be the only visitor in town).

One fundamental trick for cutting costs on a trip to Norway is surprisingly simple though: don’t go for long.

I went to Norway recently to investigate options for a short break, and it’s safe to say you can see an enormous amount in a short space of time, and still have time for relaxing. I have no doubt that a fortnight of trekking and camping in Norway would be an incredible experience, but for a three day trip that’ll cost you all-in about as much as a UK festival weekend of the same length, you’ll see some magical scenery and feel like you’ve had a full-scale holiday – such is the change of pace and the sheer differentness of what you’ll see (did I mention the height of those cliffs?).

We’ve put up a gallery of shots online to give you a sense of what the fjords are like, in addition to images here. All I’ll say further to this is that – as with all experience – you really have to be there, immersed in it, to ‘get’ it.

As for practical details, I’ll just try to fit in as much as I can.

‘Norway in a Nutshell’ may well be the worst name for a day-trip I’ve ever come across, but as a one-day mind-blower it’s right up there with your first ever proper binge. You take the train east from Bergen, through what seems like more tunnel than fresh air, before changing to a bus that drives down the steepest road in Western Europe (steeper than a Norwegian ale, so it is) and past one of the twenty highest waterfalls in the world (Norway has five of the top ten) to the ferry; the ferry takes you along about 20 miles of ‘fuck-me!’ fjords; and then you take the steepest non-funicular railway in the world up to the height of a Munro, on the way back towards Bergen. They even throw in a daft wee sketch involving stopping the train and blaring out Grieg next to one enormous waterfall, while a pair of distant blondes in blue dresses dance about like mythical siren types – all quite amusing and a nice kitsch touch to the otherwise impressively credible wonder of the landscape.

Bergen is fun too: beautiful to walk around and dramatically set, it also has a sizeable population of international/travelling young people, so with a bit of general chat you should be able to find folks to hang out with if you want a locally-based guide.

That’s more likely to apply to a longer trip though. And all I really intend to convey here is the germ of an idea: flight, fjords, flight – you won’t be disappointed.