Skinny Jeans - Celebrity Ranges

This was the summer we learned that if there isn't a countdown marketing campaign, a timed wristband entry system, and a queue of like-minded fashion junkies standing between you and that bag, dress, or drainpipe jean; then baby, it simply isn't worth having.

With buzz being the new black, celebrity-led high street ranges rule. There's more frenzy-per-garment than your average couturier can muster over a lap-dog. Forget the three-year Central St Martin's degree: the only qualification retailers are checking for is a public persona worth trading on.

Blame it on J-Lo. A leading "personality" merchant, whose entrepreneurial spirit never let a few sub-par movies stand in the way of self-marketing opportunities, and whose perfume and fashion ranges net her more annual revenue than Gigli and Jenny from the Block ever will. Now every pseudo-celebrity worth their column inches is at the very least a master perfumier, if not a multi-market mogul.

Thus, Lily Allen loved New Look, and Kylie loved H&M once Madonna was finished with it. But the most passionate love affair currently being conducted is undoubtedly Kate Moss's tryst with Topshop. The one-day nationwide retail apocalypse that was K-Day '07 was the height of the fashion Beatlemania, and this month, she's back for more with the launch of her autumn-winter range. Child-labour allegations notwithstanding, the collection will inevitably disappear rapidly off the racks, each piece amounting essentially to a sartorial permission-slip: "It's alright, Officer, please check my label – this dress is officially sanctioned."

With her previous collection consisting predominantly of watered-down copies of her greatest wardrobe hits (which is all frightfully postmodern and self-referential, or just plain lazy, depending on how you look at it) it's the style kudos of Kate we're ultimately being sold. And buy it we do, in our gullible droves.

So is this the real draw – a fashion hallmarking system, a pay-per-style-coup arrangement, built on the rotten celebrity fetishism pervading our culture?

Sitting here, doused in Covet by Sarah Jessica Parker, occasionally nudging my Gwen Stefani bag with my Lily Allen sneaker, I can't say conclusively. But meet me in the queue for Kate's autumn collection and we'll discuss it.