Sex, love and Valentine's Day

From an ancient Roman festival of sex to the current extravaganza of pink, chocolate and Ann Summers, the history of the 14th of February is as colourful as a Valentine from a four year old made with fingerpaints. While it may be as old as the birds and the bees, the actual origins of the day as a celebration of love are as mysterious and confused as all affairs of the heart should be.

The middle of February has long been associated with romance. It was thought that birds chose their mates in the ides of the month, when the Roman festival of Lupercalia celebrated sex and erotic love. The Catholic church, thinking it easier to alter the holiday than eradicate it completely, replaced the day of hedonistic orgies with a feast focused on Christian love. St Valentine, conveniently martyred on Feb 14, gave his name to the day and the stories of romance followed. One legend claims he disobeyed the Roman Emperor who forbade marriages, and performed the ceremonies in secret until he was found out and martyred. Another version goes that Valentine cured a young girl, the daughter of his jailer, of blindness. Before he was led to his death he left a note for her, signed 'your Valentine'.

The next famous Valentine comes from the imprisoned Charles, Duke of Orleans in 1415, and seemingly their popularity grew from there until the nineteenth century when commercial Valentines were first sold, almost uniquely to men. In the early twentieth century Valentine's postcards were all the rage and as the century progressed, Valentines became less formal, more funny, and for everyone. Only 30% of today's Valentine's are officially 'romantic'.

Poor Valentine, however, has been somewhat demoted by the Catholic church of late. In the late 1960's, his feast was downgraded and the 14th of February became the feast of brothers Cyril and Methodius, famous (and I use the term loosely) for inventing an alphabet and translating the bible into Slavonic. Valentine, however, lives on as purveyor of misery to singletons and couples alike, as anyone in a relationship who took the whole 'we're not doing Valentines day' thing seriously can attest to.

Valentine remains the patron of love, young people, and happy marriages, so this Valentine's Day, if your love life is in need of a miracle, consider making your own Valentine's pilgrimage. No need to head to Italy, or even Amsterdam. The Church of Blessed St John Duns Scotus in Glasgow holds a casket reputed to contain relics of the martyr. They're hardly the only church to claim this honour, but they're certainly the closest. And if you're spending the 14th this year with a ready-meal for one rather than the one you love, just remember Oscar Wilde's words on the subject: 'To love yourself is the beginning of a life long affair!''

5 Ways to Spend Valentine's in Edinburgh:

1. The Scottish Poetry Library is hosting a 'Fall in Love with Poetry' evening with poet Elspeth Murray. Promising champagne, readings, and a matchmaking service for those yet to find the perfect poem, you're guaranteed more than 'roses are red, violets are blue.' £5 (£3) 6-8pm.

2. Need something to get you in the Valentine's spirits? The Scottish Malt Whisky Society is holding a couples' whisky and champagne tasting. Try five malts or five champagnes under expert supervision. Call for information on prices and membership. 6.30-9.30pm.

3. If you're looking to recreate that Ghost moment or just want to spend the evening getting dirty with a friend, check out Doodles Ceramics. Don't worry, very little craftiness required: buy a pre-made mug, plate, bowl, or teapot - all you have to do is paint it. Valentine's special - 2 for 1 on session fees (£5). Booking essential, open until 9pm.

4. For the ultimate in luxury, and at a cool £319, book into the Balmoral Hotel for as much romance as money can buy. Featuring cocktails, a rose petal turn down, champagne breakfast and spa facilities, this is as posh as Valentine's can get.

5. At the other end of the spectrum, learn how they do it on the Discovery Channel with a walk along the Lover's Trail at Edinburgh Zoo. Highlighting romantic pairings in the zoo, the trail is included in admission prices. 9 - 4:30, £9 (£7/£6).