Student Life: The best nights in

Ticking every gender stereotype in the book, here’s some ideas for the best girls’ and boys’ nights that a small amount of money can buy. Which night sounds better? You decide. And if you are really intent on being PC, you can always mix it up a bit and try both.

Men Only
Declare someone’s place absolutely void of oestrogen for the next twelve hours. Get as many lads as you know round, and ensure each has been instructed to bring enough beer to sustain an entire night’s drinking. As they start to arrive, make small talk and jokes about topical news stories, the more controversial the better. Order a curry, and make sure you ask for it extra, extra, extra hot. Watch some footy on TV and shout abuse at the players/ref/commentators/adverts. When curry arrives eat and leave plates on floor, then parp loudly and have a good chuckle. When everyone gets fidgety, gather round a dart board for some proper sport. After playing darts for as long as you can be bothered to stand up, retire to the living room for more shouting at the telly. Later, when the beer is running out and someone cracks open a bottle of whisky, bring out the Poker set. Play into the wee small hours until everyone is asleep or too pissed to see their chips.

Girly Magic
This one works best in pyjamas and comfy slippers. Get the girls round (the more the screamier) and pour wine for all. Make a big fat bowl of popcorn and slap some face masks on for pure pampering. After talking about shopping and boys for a while, get the films on the go. These may include any combination of three or four of the following: Dirty Dancing, Hairspray (the original), Crybaby, Pretty Woman, Officer and a Gentleman, Thelma and Louise, Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Café, Grease (one and two), Steel Magnolias and Beaches. Snuggle down on the sofa and blub at the tragedy, cheer for the ladies and marvel at Patrick Swayze’s upper arms. When all of this is over, swap sex stories and giggle like you are kids again. Turn the night into a sleep over for prolonged girly heaven. Oh, and at some point remember to wash those face masks off.