10 Things You Should Do as a Student
Go to the library
Even if it's not for books, some libraries have a collection of DVDs that you can rent for free, including all those arty European films with real sex in you’ve not been able to see properly because Channel 4 always blur out the naughty bits. Occasionally there are also other students there you could socialise and compare hangover cures with. During exam time in particular the emotional rewards of popping in to the place where books live can make you feel like you did hours of revision. Or just grab a PC and look up Wikipedia.
Take photographs
These are The Best Days Of Your Lives, and it's possible you may be too drunk to remember them. Keep a photographic record of your exploits. You can then upload these to Facebook and share them with others, who will post incredibly unfunny comments that end up being misconstrued and start fights. You will also be able to reminisce (should you end up working 12 hour days in an office job), of your few years of freedom, a time when it was socially acceptable to mention Baudrillardian theory without being mocked and inserted with a pool cue.
Join Facebook
A few clicks and this social networking site will co-ordinate your social life and provide you with hours of procrastination. You will also learn various
obscure details about people you have only spoken to once, discovering that the person who sits next to you in your History lecture is about to have a shower, or that the best singer from last night’s karaoke runs the Su Pollard Appreciation Society. Hours of fun.
Work experience
Pick up the yellow pages, open a page at random with your eyes shut, point your finger at a listing on the page, call the number, ask about internships, and voila: career prospects. Chances are they’ll be happy to have you on board: it’s not like they’re paying you is it? Fascists.
Join a society, or start one
There are societies for everything, from a student paper to Tunnocks Societies for those who love their teacakes. Join one, start one: whatever floats your boat. This may give you the opportunity to meet people with similar interests, and will give you a line on your CV. Depending on how pish your uni is, you may be required to do things in the nude involving biscuits and large prodding implements.
Be a tourist
Visit all the tourist attractions in the local area whether they be a museum for odd socks to a world-famous golf course. You have several years to do this, but first year is a good time to get started, that way you can impress all the newbies the following year and get a potential shag out of it.
Stay up all night
If you've left your essay till the last minute do not give up all hope on your degree. Instead mosey on down to Tesco's for caffeine pills, red bull and lots of food. Then stay up all night, preferably in a computer room as a precaution against impromptu naps. If you do all your essays weeks before they are due stay up till sunrise and take photographs, or engage in discussions about the nature of language and whether you could cook a rabbit with a match.
Go skinny-dipping
We have a feeling this might be illegal. We are not advising you to go skinny dipping, but we have heard that hypothetically it is something that students like to do, and you may be the odd one out if you don't (well, if you’re in with the Oxbridge set anyway). If there isn't a body of water near your university this poses a slight problem, in this case improvise. Although a a word of advice: muddy puddles are a no-no.
Perhaps indulge in some drinking
At university you have reached the legal age to drink alcohol. While most of you will have been doing this for a couple of years already (make that a good decade if you’re from Greenock or Paisley), now is the time to proudly flash your ID at obnoxious bouncers and nervous-looking off-licence staff and say “See, look! 18!”. As one of civilization’s oldest social lubricants, alcohol is the best way to bond with new people and pick up casual partners. Not that we’d ever endorse that sort of thing.
Go travelling
You may never get holidays as long as this again (unless you become a teacher. And they still complain, don’t they? Miserable sods). Eastern Europe is notoriously cheap, and while a rather typical student destination, who can deny the lure of Budapest's ancient bathhouses or Prague's rising music scene? Also good for pretending you’re in a spy movie. Keep Portishead on an iPod loop for maximum effect (just skip the depressing ones).