Student Life: 5 Ways to Sound like a Genius at a Party...

Feature by Nicola More | 10 Sep 2008
  • After a gap year spent being raised by bears, make sure your posture is confident and you at least have five minutes of pure gold on 'the political unconscious'

...When you're actually an idiot like the rest of us.

Everyone knows a bullshitter, but what's the secret? The Skinny asked five seasoned experts to share the tricks of the trade.

Warning: use these tips with caution. Incorrect use will make you sound like a twat at parties and set your plans of aural domination back at least a term.

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“Choose an obscure subject. That way, no-one will know if you’re talking bollocks. For example, pick a book that nobody is likely to have read, or one so complex it’s open to extreme interpretations – anything by Foucault, Sartre or Lacan is a good bet. But make sure you pronounce the names right. If you call Foucault 'Fuckalt' you’ve had it.” - Danni

“Invent a gap year spent helping orphans/digging wells/milking goats in Cambodia/Zimbabwe/Columbia. Nobody really wants you to give them a full description as it makes them feel inferior, so you can get away with ‘so rewarding’ and ‘eye-opening’." - James

“Commit. Use eye contact, use your hands and generally just ooze confidence. People will believe any old rubbish if it’s delivered with authority.” - Ewan

“Find a hot button topic like global warming and research the subject enough to talk about in depth for precisely five minutes - that's all you need to impress someone. After that, you can go back to talking about Darnell's chances of winning Big Brother 9.” - Lesley

“If someone asks a question you don’t know the answer to, simply say ‘it’s interesting you should ask me that, because one time...’ (insert funny, totally unrelated story). Or if you’re feeling very brave, try ‘Actually that’s a common misconception...’ then insert a total lie.” - Hannah