How to Have Good Sex

So, you’ve arrived at university and you’re surrounded by hundreds of students who you’d quite like to have carnal relations with. But how?

Feature by Tasha Lee | 08 Sep 2014
  • Deviance - How to Have Good Sex

Higher education may be the first time you’ve ever had your own room, your own lock or the ability to take someone home without inviting a world of grief. It might be your first chance to realistically have a sexual relationship. But with sex education classes providing little to no information about how to actually do ‘it,’ confusion and misinformation abound. How can you have good sex?

Masturbate. Sexual partners wouldn’t automatically know what you do and don’t like done to your genitals (and other parts of your body). Don’t just focus on what gets you off fastest, but how you like to be loved. Are your ears particularly sensitive? Do you like to finger your anal passage? First year of university is where thousands of horny young students are crammed into identikit apartments – it’s expected that you’ll masturbate. So do.

Secondly, learn how to communicate your desires to your sexual partners without pressurising them. People tend to have a sliding scale of sexual preferences; so don’t be afraid to bring up fetishes. It might be that you’ve always wanted to spank someone. The more open you are with sexual partners, the more likely you are to find someone who wants to be spanked.

The other side of that is to be sympathetic to the fetishes of others, while retaining a clear idea of what you’d like to do, what might be interesting, what you’d rather not do, and what you absolutely won’t do. The relative promiscuity of students and people in their late teens and early twenties means if you’re not into the fetish of your current sexual partner, it doesn’t mean they’ll never get to do that thing. They just won’t get to do it with you.

So, what is a fetish? Loosely defined, it’s anything you didn’t get taught about in sex education, which is nevertheless legal for consenting adults to do in the privacy of their own beds.

For instance: licking feet, pissing on someone, using bondage rope, cross-dressing… or on a more ‘vanilla’ level, some people aren’t into oral sex, while others are really into dry humping.

Most importantly, know that it’s okay to stop if it’s not working for you. Actually it’s much, much better to stop if there’s any doubt that you or your sexual partner are having a good time. Overall, sex should be pleasurable and fun. Don’t stress too much about it.

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