No Sex Please, We're American

Gay marriage is legal in California (again) and conservative Christian groups are trying to make it illegal (again). Sex toys are banned in Alabama, while Texas only legalised them in 2008. Why is the USA – which supposedly prides itself on 'liberty and justice for all' – so un-libertarian about sexuality?

It's well-known that US film censors are harsher on sex scenes than on violence, whereas in Europe the situation is reversed. Perhaps Americans think that we liberal Europeans are all shagging in the street, but a few on-screen willies don't appear to have caused biblical plagues to rain down on us. In the US a PG-13 film can contain fairly graphic violence, but not even a flash of pubic hair. What harm can be done with a scene of consenting sex? Would the fabric of society really crumble if a few Alabamans played with a sex swing or a strap-on in the privacy of their own homes? Perhaps I'm just a smut-peddling European, but I don't think anal beads are as dangerous as a handgun. Yet you're more likely to see a gunfight in a Hollywood film than a depiction of happy, healthy men and women having consensual sex. You're even less likely to see a gay sex scene.

A friend living in Tennessee recently visited me in Glasgow, and was surprised that my girlfriend and I hold hands in the street. "In America," she said, "people would yell insults at you for doing that." We're not strangers to the odd shout of "LEZZIE!" from a group of idiot kids, but I've never felt that anyone was particularly against us being a couple. Most people in Scotland don't seem to care about other people's sex lives – which is exactly how it should be. But in a US state like Tennessee, holding my girlfriend's hand would be an intensely political (and potentially dangerous) statement. Unfortunately, right-wing Christians make up a significant percentage of the US population, and boy can they shout loudly. It's easy to write off the Westboro 'GOD HATES FAGS' Baptists as crazy freaks, but a less aggressive though equally anti-gay sentiment exists in thousands of otherwise sane Americans. This bigotry is by no means shared by the entire population, but it's by no means insignificant either.

But why do we care what's happening hundreds of miles across the sea, when US laws don't affect us in the UK? Because America exports its culture in a way no other country does. Think of the last five films you watched, songs you heard, or websites you visited – I bet at least one is from the US. The more ubiquitous American culture becomes, the more we're in danger of absorbing aspects of their morals and views. Anti-gay laws exist in other countries, but their culture is nowhere near as pervasive as US culture in other countries.

It's not that gay marriage matters to me as such. It might be nice to wear a big dress and throw some flowers, but I don't care whether my girlfriend and I sign a bit of paper and double-barrel our names. Not every LGBT person wants to get married, and that's fine – no-one's forcing gold rings on fingers. But restricting freedoms that don't hurt or even affect anyone else is unacceptable. Telling people they can't have the same rights because of their sexuality is unacceptable. You should care about sexuality-based laws because denying people the basic right to love who they choose, and to express that love, is unacceptable.

You know what, America? People have sex. People have always had sex,
which is why we all exist. Trying to deny that fact – to make consensual sex seem immoral or shameful – will not make for healthy, happy citizens. You can try to fight progress if you like, but all you'll achieve is a rise in your blood pressure.

LGBT equality is another sign of progress, and rest assured it is going to happen. Canada, South Africa, Argentina and the Netherlands all have same-sex marriage and as far as I can tell the sun has not imploded. The UK legalised civil partnerships in 2004 and we're tootling along just fine. Listen: the rest of the western world is not cheering on these restrictions of freedom. We're not wishing that we too could go ass-backwards instead of sensibly forwards. We know you'll see sense eventually and join the rest of us in the 21st century – we just wish you'd hurry the fuck up.