Apache - Boomtown Gems
How this ever made it to the UK from San Francisco is a mystery
Track four on this album, Real Shit, is just dreadful. A self-fulfilling prophecy, to be precise. Let's just get that out of the way. Not that the other tracks are good. On the contrary. And how Boomtown Gems ever made it to the UK from San Francisco is a mystery, but hey, let's post it back:
I hope you find the ironically titled “Boomtown Gems” by the dreadful faux-70s glam/punk band Apache enclosed. You may or may not be aware that this band hails from your own country.
I entreat you, not least in the interest of America's flagging reputation across the globe, to please ensure no further excretions from the aforementioned “artists” find their way across your homeland's borders. In the event that we are further subjected to your bland, out-of-tune retro musings, we will be forced to jettison your country into space.
We appreciate your cooperation on this matter.
Yours sincerely, The World. [Chris Cusack]