The Demise Of The Christmas Single
What's become of the melodic Christmas cracker?
| 12 Dec 2006
Noddy Holder is an unlikely seasonal catalyst; his Dickensian demeanour and crazed peanut commercials depict him as an affable, yet unhinged, rogue. But once the Black Country rasp of "It's Christmas!" rattles over the nation's decorated treetops, Noddy's lairy buffoonery incites a month of pound piling debauchery.
Along with the Pogues' 'Fairytale of New York', Slade's 'Merry Xmas Everybody' is the soundtrack to every lubricated office knees-up; never failing to stimulate that 'Christmassy' feeling. Yet, much like the jolly, present bearing fat-man, these stirring festive anthems have aged without ever being challenged by a sprightlier upstart. So, what's become of the melodic Christmas cracker?
With artists like Bob The Builder and the slightly less dextrous Shayne Ward topping the St. Nick's day chart, there's been no overtly festive Christmas number one since Cliff Richard's abominable 'Saviours Day' in 1990 (ignoring Band Aid 20's woeful 2004 reprise of 'Do The Know It's Christmas?'). As convenient as it is to holler "Scrooge!" in the direction of Mr Cowell and those cash hoarding record labels, the demise of the seasonal hit does not rest entirely on the shoulders of novelty acts and reality TV winners.
There was a time when Christmas singles were indicative of musicians at the height of their creative powers. Transforming naff yuletide sentiments into credible pop songs was an art-form only the stellar could perfect. From John & Yoko's ideological 'Happy Xmas (War Is Over)' to Elton's gloriously extravagant 'Step Into Christmas', a festive record was the totem of any artist's back catalogue.
In today's impregnably cool climate it's impossible to envisage Razorlight's Johnny Borrell slipping on a Santa suit and effusing about mulled wine and roasted chestnuts. This stomach-churning image may have you wrenching up your turkey, but in the race for 2006's Christmas Number One there seems to be no place for traditional season's greetings.
X Factor's victor is the inevitable bookies favourite, leaving Take That's 'Patience' and All Angel's rendition of Robbie Williams' 'Angels' to languish in its wake. With Sir Cliff's hideous Brian May and Daniel O' Donnell collaborations destined for failure, the King Street Kids' 'As Christmas Day Draws Near' is the only contender to exude the essence of Christmas. Considering this lack of festive cheer, perhaps it's not too late for Noddy to spit out those nuts and show us all how the Christmas single really should be done.
Along with the Pogues' 'Fairytale of New York', Slade's 'Merry Xmas Everybody' is the soundtrack to every lubricated office knees-up; never failing to stimulate that 'Christmassy' feeling. Yet, much like the jolly, present bearing fat-man, these stirring festive anthems have aged without ever being challenged by a sprightlier upstart. So, what's become of the melodic Christmas cracker?
With artists like Bob The Builder and the slightly less dextrous Shayne Ward topping the St. Nick's day chart, there's been no overtly festive Christmas number one since Cliff Richard's abominable 'Saviours Day' in 1990 (ignoring Band Aid 20's woeful 2004 reprise of 'Do The Know It's Christmas?'). As convenient as it is to holler "Scrooge!" in the direction of Mr Cowell and those cash hoarding record labels, the demise of the seasonal hit does not rest entirely on the shoulders of novelty acts and reality TV winners.
There was a time when Christmas singles were indicative of musicians at the height of their creative powers. Transforming naff yuletide sentiments into credible pop songs was an art-form only the stellar could perfect. From John & Yoko's ideological 'Happy Xmas (War Is Over)' to Elton's gloriously extravagant 'Step Into Christmas', a festive record was the totem of any artist's back catalogue.
In today's impregnably cool climate it's impossible to envisage Razorlight's Johnny Borrell slipping on a Santa suit and effusing about mulled wine and roasted chestnuts. This stomach-churning image may have you wrenching up your turkey, but in the race for 2006's Christmas Number One there seems to be no place for traditional season's greetings.
X Factor's victor is the inevitable bookies favourite, leaving Take That's 'Patience' and All Angel's rendition of Robbie Williams' 'Angels' to languish in its wake. With Sir Cliff's hideous Brian May and Daniel O' Donnell collaborations destined for failure, the King Street Kids' 'As Christmas Day Draws Near' is the only contender to exude the essence of Christmas. Considering this lack of festive cheer, perhaps it's not too late for Noddy to spit out those nuts and show us all how the Christmas single really should be done.