Love Bites: Friendship Flings

At one time in all our childhoods, we earnestly believed that our BFFs, our Best Friends Forever, were going to be just that, forever. But one of the many slow scarring wounds of adulthood is accepting that this isn’t always true. No friendship exists in stasis: many will burn out entirely and others may last our entire lives, but none will ever be able to avoid transformative change. However, there is a type of relationship that embraces that fact, one that is fundamentally different but equally romantic: the BFFN – the Best Friend For Now.

We have all had BFFNs, but often we forget about them because of their intrinsic ephemerality. BFFNs are made when two strangers somehow transcend the barriers of small talk to engage in a brief but intense fling of friendship. Many of these platonic one-night stands are fueled by alcohol, but they can also be born out of some extraordinary circumstances that grant us a sudden jolt of emotional openness. I cherish the memory of watching Scotland score against England in 2017, not because of the result (we drew), but because of the total stranger I hugged when it happened. Moments like these are one of the beautiful times in life where human connection feels intuitive and right: there’s staring into the eyes of the person you love but there’s also earnestly urging someone in a smoking area to dump their boyfriend.

Is it the inherently transitory nature of BFFNs that gives them such poignancy? Perhaps, but their real beauty is arguably found in the direct ignorance of that fact. Our inner child is reawakened, the same one that once believed friends could be forever, or at least didn’t care, but would rather give and receive love purely for its own sake. I’ve been thinking about my BFFNs a lot recently; I wonder if they ever think about me?