Ask Anahit: Student Edition

I feel less creative at university and I’m doing a creative degree. Is this a sign I should drop out, or should I stick with it?

I don’t think this in itself is a sign you should drop out, but I think it is a sign that you need to completely disentangle the idea of higher education in this country from creativity, praxis, or – indeed – education, and if that doesn’t feel possible then yes, maybe it isn’t for you. 

You might think I sound jaded and you would possibly be right. It could be because we went on strike while I was teaching at university with a regularity that was alarming but also somewhat comforting, like the reliability of the rising sun; it could be because the vice-chancellor of the University of Edinburgh was given tens of thousands of pounds to move himself and his pets over from Hong Kong while all these strikes over working conditions were happening, and has since been given almost ONE MILLION BRITISH POUNDS STERLING of expenses to jet around the world while presumably (allegedly! allegedly!!) quashing any student dissidence he stumbles upon. Who can say. Some mysteries are destined to remain mysteries. But any institution so bound up with the capitalist machine is simply not a place where you will feel at your most creative.

I have done three degrees (this is not a brag, it is a confession), so I can tell you with certainty: fostering creativity is no longer the university-as-institution’s intended function, no matter how arty your degree or how interestingly your coursemates dress. It is, however, a space to test out being an adult for the first time, to be with your friends, and to buy yourself enough time to discover the things that really make you feel creative. Find your nearest artist co-op and get stuck in, join the community radio station with the kookiest show idea you can think of, go bother your local zine library. Creativity doesn’t happen behind closed doors, and it can’t be taught. It’s a practice that bleeds into every aspect of your life and the broader community. Go to class, get your piece of paper at the end, and find what truly makes you happy. 

Credit: Phoebe Willison.

I really like my course, but I can't stand some of my coursemates. We're going to be working in groups a lot this year, how do I get through the term without shouting at them?

You know when you’re scouring through job websites in the desperate hope that maybe there will be a single job you don’t hate and you wonder why exactly you signed up for an English degree when you still can’t really define Realism even after seven separate well-meaning but boring tutorials, and shouldn’t it just be about what’s real anyway, it’s when novels show something in a real (???) way, but no apparently it’s “more complicated than that” which, if we’re being honest, is probably just something they say to maintain the ongoing Dickens Industrial Complex, and you keep scrolling and actually it seems you can do most of the jobs on here (even though you really don’t want to) because it turns out the only valuable thing yours and any other degree teaches anyone anyway is 'transferable skills' and not in fact how and why Ezra Pound was kind of a cunt. Anyway, one of those transferable skills is tolerating annoying people.

I have full sympathy that these people on your course are probably annoying. I also have full sympathy that most group work should be deployed only as a form of illegal torture, ideally suited to the US military when they invade the next country where they are planning to establish peace or good will or whatever. But unfortunately, adult life is full of annoying people and annoying tasks, and part of learning how not to get called up by HR for throwing a stapler at someone in your future job that you didn't want is microdosing that early on.

I’m sorry that I don’t have any better advice than to grit your teeth and get through it. It’s also very hypocritical of me because I am flagrantly rude to anyone I find irritating. I think suggesting and maintaining a structure to these meetings to make them as efficient and short-lived as possible is a good idea; so is giving yourself a treat when you’re done. Maybe collect all your coursemates’ worst habits and turn them into an eviscerating short story. But really, and I’m so sorry to say, this is probably a valuable learning experience for you.

I'm going back to uni this September and also staying on at my current job. I'm a bit worried about maintaining a healthy work / study / life balance, especially after dropping out of my last attempt at a full time Masters. Do you have any advice on how to approach this stage of my life without losing my mind or burning out?

Firstly, and I don’t know if this is helpful, my Masters was the easiest out of all three of my degrees (I said this sentence out loud in the office and everyone booed which – reading it back – was the least I deserved), so I think it might be less full on than you think! The one good thing about university, and especially graduate courses, is that they are so flexible and (forgive me) so easy, because they are largely used as a way to extort money from international students to, oh I don’t know, pay the vice-chancellor to go on holiday, that that balance is definitely possible to strike. 

What it requires is a baseline level of organisation, and for you to be realistic about what you can achieve. How does your course manage assessments, and how staggered are they throughout the term? Go through the plan and put those deadlines in your calendar now, and then work backwards and block out the week or two you’ll need to read for and write them. Figure out with your work what your easy weeks and what your hard weeks will be, and try and adjust your work schedule accordingly. Be OK with saying no to your friends if you don’t feel like doing something! There will always be other times to hang out and the pressure you feel is only coming from yourself.

And finally, be prepared for all of this to go out of the window. It is part of the charm of higher education, that so much is done by the seat of your pants, that you ignore that assignment that is due tomorrow, no like really tomorrow, like you have to write it tonight, to hang out with your friends. It’s one of the last times in your life that you can make and are actively encouraged to make bad choices, and I really do think the entire purpose of postgraduate courses are to give yourself one to four more years of this, as a treat. The easiest way to avoid burnout, in my opinion, is to not take any of it seriously. Try and get back into that 18-year-old mindset, where nothing matters at all.

Credit: Phoebe Willison.

I've just finished my bachelors degree and cannot image not being flatmates and living in the same city as my pals from uni. How do I stay in touch with people across a ten hour time difference? Is there any other way you can think to stay in touch with my pals back home in New York than a lovely phone call to chat and catch-up?

This is really sweet! How nice for you! I’m so sorry to say that this is probably not feasible, but what a lovely impulse!

That period of your life, where you all lived together and shared the intimacy you can only share by going through the same thing and living in the same place, is unfortunately over, and it will never come back in this exact form. I don’t mean this in a defeatist, nihilistic way: more that you need to be able to recognise that change in order to keep the friendships, and to let them change shape and occupy a new space in your life. Maybe you will become even closer, maybe you will drift apart, maybe you will not speak for a while and suddenly end up living together again and it’ll be magical like it was before. You simply don’t know, and while the thought of not knowing and instead trusting that relationships will change and that loss and growth are part of life makes me want to throw up, it’s only by letting go that we, incongruently, get to keep hold of things at all.

I cannot stress enough that while I know this, I simply cannot enact it in my own life, and react to all change with a particularly volatile mix of panic and hysteria that makes everything implode anyway. And that is one solution! But if you can be more normal, and I truly do believe in you, you’ll find that life can be surprising and beautiful, instead of surprising and devastating. Send each other voicenotes, send each other packages, watch all their Instagram stories so you feel tapped into their life. But also try and accept that it will be different, but that doesn’t mean it’s necessarily worse, or over. I think. Maybe. Who fucking knows to be honest. I’m not sure I really believe any of this anyway.

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