Opinion: Deviance's New Year Resolutions

Behold! Deviance's suggested New Year's resolutions, crowdsourced to help you be a little less shit in 2016...

Feature by Deviance Team | 30 Dec 2015

Right, enough now. Christmas is over. Kaput. Dust off those Ritz biscuit crumbs and brace yourself – it's time to face 2016. Sure, you might have very little control over the particulars of life on this planet, like, for instance, your own mortality or Donald Trump's horrible terracotta head. But you can control you (to an extent). And Deviance is here to help, too – have a browse of our suggested New Year's resolutions and pick a couple of ways to redeem yourself in the coming year. Cup o' kindness for Auld Lang Syne and all that.

2016: The year of acknowledging that cultural appropriation is kind of a dick move...
Yes, fashion may well be stooping to an all-time low as it gasps for newness like a salmon in custard. And yes, trend cycles might be breakneck now, but that’s hardly an excuse when googling “is my dashiki dress offensive?” takes about six seconds. And yes, it is.
Kate Pasola, Deviance editor

...the year devil’s advocates go to hell
Playing devil's advocate isn't actually a bold and political move. If the situation personally involves who you're talking to, there's a good chance that your edgy attempt to argue is actually, to them, a huge slap in the face.
Toby Sharpe, Deviance contributor

...the year of squaring up to bad behaviour
Call people out more, for their growth and for your own. But also, don’t worry about being a warrior all the time. Sometimes you need to sit down, have a cup of tea, cry and try to forget about how crap everyone is. And that’s alright too.
Rianna Walcott, Deviance contributor

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More from Deviance:

 Bad Feminism: Three feminist flaws

 Female Pleasure and Desire – 'You're doing a PhD in what?!'

...the year we all stfu about being an 'ally'
Question the militaristic and hyper-macho language of being an ally. Question your arsenal: your straightness or maleness. How do you profit from your status or identity as 'normal'? Experiment and deconstruct.
Adam Benmakhlouf, Art editor

...the year we realise that life’s too short for 'discreet packaging'
Be deviant. Buy a dildo if you want a dildo. Have more fun because you love yourself, not less fun because you want to, someday, love yourself.
Felicity Benefutuis, Deviance contributor

...the year we trust the words of minorities
I'm sick of perusing my bookshelf and having white men stare at me. 2016 will be the year I diversify my reading list and get some female, ethnic minority and LGBTQ+ authors to stare back.
Poppy Weatherspoon, University of Manchester Feminist Collective

...the year we decide to take a united stand. And stay that way
In 2016 I'd like to see a unifying of the feminist movement; with lesbian separatists, sex workers and trans activists working together – if possible – on issues such as abortion rights or maintaining refuges for victims of domestic abuse and violence. The Women's Equality Party might be able to achieve this. It will be interesting to see.
Ana Hine, former Deviance editor

...and finally, let’s make 2016 the year we all finally get our head around the vagina (literally)
Straight males everywhere – when you find the clit, don't treat it like a dick.
Liv McMahon, Deviance contributor

“2016 cannot – nay, must not – unfold as another year of people prodding other people’s clitorides as if trying to remove a grease mark from a laptop screen. It stops here.”
Kate Pasola, Deviance editor

“2015 was the year of glitter hair. 2016 is the year of the glitoris. Got low-hanging lips? Drip those drapes in diamanté, girl. Get some sequins on her. Light up your vagina like Christmas, make her shine like a disco cave. Accessorise more with your V-face.”
Twinkle, Deviance contributor