Scotchtoberfest

Summer is long gone, Christmas isn’t for another couple of months, and the weather’s so changeable that it’s really tricky to know what to do with the central heating. You could put it on ‘once a day,’ but then what if it gets cold during the day? ‘Twice’? ‘Twice,’ in October? Hey everyone, check out Moneybags and all his ‘warmth’! Luckily, the Germans have brought a little something with them to help us all get through this difficult time. It’s Oktoberfest! Yeah!

WAIT, WHAT IS OKTOBERFEST?
Imagine if rehearsals for an all-brass production of the Brothers Grimm crashed into a beer garden – that’s Oktoberfest. Every year at the start of October, Bavaria becomes overrun with Lederhosen-wearing booze enthusiasts spreading the good word about beer. The Munich Oktoberfest draws around 6.4 million visitors every year to wallow in the brassy, hoppy, pretzel-y vibe in a huge mini-city comprised entirely of temporary pubs and places to buy slightly distressing German sausages. It’s lovely.

COOL STORY BRO, BUT I LIVE IN SCOTLAND.
Alright ‘bro,’ stay chill. The good news is you can experience Oktoberfest in this very Scotland. An enormous blue and white tent filled with beer and weird, ‘traditional’ music is on the way, making its first stop in Edinburgh. Princes Street Gardens will become a temporary German outpost from 9 to 13 October, bringing a little bit of Bavarian style to the Capital. Things then move to Glasgow for the next few weekends, with Glasgow Green experiencing the kind of debauchery not seen since… well, since the Stone Roses in June. Bad example.

SO WHAT CAN I EXPECT?
Well, the aforementioned drinking – it’s all enormous steins filled with a special Oktoberfest beer which the organisers “bring over in a very big truck.” There is also room in said truck for pretzels the size of your face, along with a range of Lederhosen for you to rent if you really want to get into the swing of things.

HANG ON. DID YOU SAY ‘YOU CAN RENT LEDERHOSEN’?
Yes. Yes we did. A whole array of dungaree-type leather garments are on the cards, so if you love the Sound of Music or are the kind of person who is fond of overcommitting to a night out, you’re in good company.

CRIKEY. THESE GUYS AREN’T MUCKING AROUND.
Indeed they aren’t. Not to be outdone, some of Scotland’s regular beer lovers are getting in on the Oktoberfest. Glasgow’s own WEST Brewery, presumably a bit miffed at making their own German beer all year only to find a tent filled with German beer turn up across the park, are continuing their annual Oktoberfest nights. Fridays in October will see the civilised side of Oktoberfest revealed. No sitting in a tent here, just plenty of brilliant beer, and a band called Brasswurst. You read right, Brasswurst.

BADUM-TSH
Hey, don’t drum roll at the messenger. If that doesn’t appeal, why not try Glasgow Beer Club’s Scotoberfest. Again, we don’t come up with the names. These guys are taking over Pollokshaws Burgh Hall for a night to bring the German love of drinking and abrasive tubas to the people of the Southside, and they’ll even give you a souvenir glass to take home with you, which is nice of them.

SO BASICALLY, THIS IS ALL JUST… DRINKING.
Yes. Drinking special, interesting beers, eating incredibly ill-advised food, wearing ridiculous outfits and trying not to be deafened by music blaring in your ear. It’s a night out, but it’s totally cultural. You’re convinced, we can tell. Now let’s find out where they keep those funny German hats...