Transformers

It's difficult to know where to begin to list everything that's wrong with Transformers. Mind you, I could give it a damn good try - the plot doesn't make a lick of sense, the dialogue is juvenile and inane, the editing is shambolic and it really only exists so Michael Bay can continue his search for the perfect sunset with his whirligig camera. It would be hideous if it weren't so goddamn entertaining. You'll see things that will give you goosebumps, special effects that have advanced to such a level that a thirty foot tall computer generated metal monster rampaging down a city street looks as though it's actually there. What passes for a story has something to do with a giant cube of immense power that came to earth from space centuries ago. It's being sought by a group of warring robots. The bad ones want the cube, the good ones want to destroy the cube. They fight. We watch. [Paul Greenwood]