Transformers: Beast Wars

A good way to immunise yourself against the impending nostalgia that precedes a Hollywood update is to buy a cheap VHS of the original to see just how bad it actually was. First created to sell toys to kids, Transformers is now set to shift General Motors cars to the same (now grown-up) audience. This video shows the last gasps of the original attempt, before the more recent manga updates, in which they first dabbled with CG animation. Beast Wars - set on a 'mysterious' jungle planet (spoiler: it's Earth) - recalls that moment in Big where Tom Hanks' 12 year-old toy executive questions the point of a robot that turns into a building, asking why it couldn't just be a bug instead. Some point after they created robots that turn into non-functional tape decks, Hasbro must have had a similar meeting. The resulting show isn't actually that bad, the animation is good for its day, and with titles like 'Crossing The Rubicon' it clearly has ideas above its station (unless it's a cynical plug for the fruit juice of the same name). It's also quite odd; one robot seems to die horribly in every episode without comment. All the advertising space at the start of the tape has been reserved for bombarding young viewers with ads for the dolls, which with hindsight now act as a DVD-like special feature. Sit a brat down in front of this and you should be able to wean them off whatever junk they're selling them these days, robots that turn into non-functional MP3 players or Space Coke or whatever. [Aldi Hucksless]