In the Wachowskis' latest film, Channing Tatum plays a flying wolfman from space. The film to fit that description is going to be outlandish, unusual, action-packed and at least a little comical. Jupiter Ascending is all of those things. It might also be imaginative, visually impressive, emotionally engaging, exciting and genuinely funny. Jupiter Ascending is not really any of these things. Channing Tatum plays a flying wolfman from space, and this film is somehow boring.
A vast universe is created, with civilisations on far flung planets with technology far beyond our own, and aristocratic power struggles dating back before our own began. But from the opening scenes of Kunis as a modern day Cinderella, scrubbing apartments while dreaming of a better life, all the way through to the obligatory blockbuster finale where the rest of the budget is spectacularly combusted in a shower of CGI, not one moment of the movie is interesting.