Bestival 2008 @ Isle of Wight, 5-7 Sep

This year Isle of Wight's Bestival yields Mermaids. Ideal.

Article by RJ Thomson | 19 Aug 2008

Girls always look super hot at festivals: the sun's out, the sounds are soothing, you've provoked your loins with some substance or other, and a general whiff of 'life is beautiful' is on the air. So, when I found out that this year's Bestival fancy dress theme was to be '30,000 Freaks Under the Sea' there was only one thought on this young man's mind... mermaids. Ideal. Of course, whether you'll stand any chance of pulling as you stumble about as a one-man Yellow Submarine is another matter entirely, but we can worry about that later.

And girls, we know you're not exactly disappointed by the knowledge that your festival experience is going to feature a one-per-minute flirting opportunity with a Pirates-style Depp-alike. Everyone has considerable reason to be excited about Bestival this year.

Add to this a range of camping options from tipis to beach huts, delicious food, premium drinking and the kind of scenic location to make most sun-starved Scots weep into their hearty warming summer ale, and you'd be forgiven for coming out with the bends. And that's before we've even considered the music.

My Bloody Valentine for fuck's sake! Parliament Funkadelic! Baaba Mal! Aphex!, The Breeders, Santogold, Chromeo, and even the bloody Sugarhill Gang! If there's nothing here to get you excited then chances are you probably don't know what fun is, so just buy a ticket anyway as this is your best chance of finding out, and is less risky than uninitiated S&M (especially if you happen to be dressed as a crustacean, as well you might).

Go to, prawns! Go to, anemones! See you there, Ahab! Last one in's a scroobius pip!

Video: Funkadelic - One Nation Under A Groove

The easiest way to get to Bestival from Scotland is the train to London, despite National Express East Coast's concerted attempts to make the lives of half the population of the British Isles even worse with their unique combination of increased fairs and over-crowded trains. Still, the pain of shitty customer service will only prepare you better for an exuberant festival experience, so it's probably best just to lump it. If you go here to book there's at least the chance you'll get a decent deal on a rival service.

A much better and cheaper option would be to have a look at lift sharing; and there are a number of websites set up to make it easier, like this one. You might even get to travel all the way to Bestival with fun-loving folk like yourself...

Otherwise, the plan is basically to get to London Victoria Coach Station, from where there will be regular coaches running to the ferries at Portsmouth harbour.

Sound like a lot of bother? Did we mention My Bloody Valentine! Parliament Funkadelic! Baaba Mal! Aphex! The Breeders, Santogold, Chromeo, and even the bloody Sugarhill Gang!

Easy. See you there.