Glasgow Comedy Festival Blog: Almost there

The Festival is almost over and we enter the last weekend of shows with some excitement and trepidation.  There are still some corkers about and there are also some shows which could be the definition of a car crash. 

To update you on the last couple of days, the debate that I chaired on Monday night actually went quite well. The students representing Stirling University bravely took the stage against Raymond Mearns, Frankie Boyle and the Rev. Bless them, they took it all very well and had fun I think. I managed to control it all a bit and stopped complete anarchy but to be fair neither side got all of their points out.  In fact Frankie just did 10 minutes of new material. Which was brilliant actually. I had to tell him his time was up though – which was rather nerve-wracking. Anyway – the Stand was packed, the Rev rapped, everyone had fun and it was truly a “happening”. It showed, I think, that you can discuss an issue, have fun and everyone bought into it.  I enjoyed chairing the first Stand Debating Society and hope there might be more.

Back on festival business, I am going to see JoJo Sutherland’s show this evening, unfortunately missing out on Elaine Malcolmson and Niall Browne’s show which is on at the same time. Thursday has lots on including Retrosketch which sounds fabulous but more importantly at Maggie May’s is The Naked Comedy Show. Yes that’s right a Naked Comedy Show!

There was a guy in the Edinburgh Festival who did a similar show at the Gilded Balloon. I seem to remember a rather scathing comment from Kate Copstick about it all, and the Times said “You couldn’t say it’s titillating. But then you couldn’t say it’s funny either.” But this is a one off show. So far I am unaware of anyone who has said yes to it, personally I could think of nothing worse than performing my jokes, naked, in front of anyone never mind other comics. Imagine dying on your hole, whilst your hole was visible. Yuck.

Also, whilst I would never flatter myself to believe that anyone would be interested in a sexual way in my body, if I did do it there is always that chance that in the future some young open spot might be bored and decide to have a wank whilst thinking of me. I don’t necessarily mind that, but I would prefer it if I could choose who was wanking over me. Then after writing that, I realised what a strange debate that was to have in my head. Who would I let wank whilst thinking of me. Should I just be grateful that anyone would, or should I stand firm and attempt to enforce some control over the general publics wanking activities? It is however a moot point as I will not be taking part in the show. Unless I have more than three beers (see below).   

The show will no doubt be bust though, because as with many of these types of shows it is inevitable that many of the audience will comprise curious comics eager to see their rivals in the buff. The possibilities of who might say yes to the enterprise give me a bit of the boke. I will, of course, still attend. Just for the sake of my art, of course.

Friday I am performing at the Universal Comedy showcase and then headlining Funny Women. I may perform topless at one or both of those shows.

Finally, I am a bit concerned about the weekend. I was hoping to go out on Sunday and get really drunk to celebrate the end of the festival. Unfortunately I seem to have lost my drinking mojo. It now takes on 3 beers for me to be drunk as a skunk. After the debate on Monday I got on terribly squiffy but without the joy of drinking for hours.  I must pace myself on Sunday and if you meet me at any point please ensure that I have done nothing wrong and point me in the direction of my house.

Thanks.