The Penny Drops

I finally made it to the Penny Back.  After a rather long night in Brookes Bar we were thrown onto the filthy streets at 5 in the morning and it was suggested that we may wish to head somewhere else, we were all still feeling chipper enough to continue our evening/morning.  I’ve heard many rumours about the Penny Black, a pub that opens very early in the morning for shift workers, such as postmen (hence, presumably the name Penny Black).  None of the stories I had heard were particularly positive and on arriving I found the place to be shut and discovered we had an hour and a half to kill.

We decided to climb to the top of Calton Hill to watch the sunrise, despite the fact that the sun had already risen.  We managed to find a man who would accept a bribe to sell us some more booze and we headed to the acropolis that is known as Edinburgh’s disgrace.

In my company were a few street performers, one of which was my girlfriends ex from 15 years ago.  The street performers immediately scaled the high walls of the Acropolis and started some early morning gymnastics.  It is hard not to feel some sexual jealousy when confronted by a man who can balance on one hand on the edge of a sheer drop.

We finally reached the Penny Black half an hour after it had opened. I was horrified. The clientele consisted of completely zombified thespians and scary, burly locals.  A sign behind the bar proclaimed, “We do not accept shite”. My girlfriend offered to buy a round and we forced her, in what is the roughest bar I have ever been to, to approach the humourless looking bartender and ask for three Sweet Sherries. None of us like sherry but we just wanted to watch her embarrassment as she made her request. The barman looked at Corry and his entire body changed to the shape of ‘F-Off’ after 3 quick shots of black sambuca we duly did.

It is impossible to come to Edinburgh and not be a complete flake and forget to turn up to friends’ shows you’ve promised to go to.  This year I managed to break that trend and I’ve seen some great shows including Michael Legge and Johnny Candon’s ‘King of Everything’ and I also took my dad to see Eric’s Tales of the Sea, this is one of the funniest and most moving things I have seen in Edinburgh.  The final story left me with tears running down my face which is incredibly embarrassing when you are sat next to your dad.  I highly recommend both shows.