Philberto: Philberto's Animal

This show charts one man's rise from a dull Portuguese fishing village to the heights of TV stardom after reaching the final of reality show Live On The Floor For A Month. Philberto bounds on stage like a hyperactive child and proceeds to high-five audience members and kiss one man's shaved head. There follows some general preamble about London before a rap number about escalators on the tube, after which he professes his love for "big asses", and introduces his deaf mute brother Umberto.

If it all sounds rather shambolic and senseless, that's because it is. It's a style that might work for some comedians, but Philberto lacks the charm and wit to pull it off. Soon two audience members get up to leave. Philberto desperately tries to deliver a biting put-down, but only manages a weak "see ya." Five minutes later he returns to the matter, clearly unable to let it go, referring to the deserters as "fat Scottish women."

This is the moment in which Philberto ensures that his rating goes no higher than the one solitary star at the top of this review. Only his fairly impressive Glaswegian impression at the close offers some chance of redemption for Philberto, but it's too late. He may argue that "you don't get it," but that would require the support of a show complex enough to have something to "get"; Philberto's Animal, however, is merely cheap jokes and very, very few laughs.