La Femme Est Morte...

The warning signs are all there. The attention-grabbing title, the promise of "bloody death and adult themes" and a pretentious re-imagining of a Greek classic for the MTV generation are all factors which scream "avoid at all costs."

Not wanting to cause a fuss or break the established mould, Shalimar productions serve up a dud of epic proportions. Transplanting Phaedre into modern-day America, while satirizing celebrity-obsession in an political era dominated by war, La Femme Est Morte tries too hard to juggle too many themes, ultimately failing to keep any in the air.

The play lacks any warmth and humanity. The characters are so shallow and unlikable that the audience feels no sympathy for their ultimate demise. The juxtaposition of classical monologue and paparazzo magazine-speak to the sound of Take That and Spice Girls just doesn't work. In fact, the only notable thing about this production is that the troupe manage to perform a cover of "2 Become 1" that, quite spectacularly, succeeds in being worse than the original.

The end scene, where Phaedre throws herself in a fit of sorrow into a paper plate of dog-food caps off a truly awful, misguided and forgettable hour of theatre.