Festival I-Spy - SkinnyFest

Feature by Jonathan - but not bylined | 13 Sep 2006

Good clean fun for all the family!

Edinburgh Evening News article about how much the bill for festival security/clean-up/road closures is costing Edinburgh taxpayers enough money to build an entire fleet of new hospitals 3pts

Film Festival director claiming that this year's programme is the best ever, a truth belied by the fact that its opening night showpiece is a cycling film 1pt

Fatuous and unfounded rumours that Tom Cruise/Steven Spielberg/Tess Daly is to make a surprise visit to Edinburgh 2pts

Second-rate comedian attempting 'topical' take on the Israel-Lebanon war that strays dangerously close to anti-Semitism 1pt

A pint for under £3 in any festival venue 10pts

Man dressed as vegetable giving out flyers 3pts

Play with attention-grabbing title, which on viewing is about as attention-grabbing as Wales 1pt

Author at Book Festival condemning Iraq war, and gaining a spontaneous round of applause 1pt

The unheralded launch of yet another new festival, such as the Edinburgh International Lacework Festival 2pts

Everybody except the organisers persisting in calling them the Perriers, even though they're now the if.comeddies 1pt

One of the organisers slipping up and accidentally calling them the Perriers 5pts

London media twats 'ironically' wearing kilts, or tartan skirts, or those hats with the ginger wigs underneath 3pts

Fringe show in some sort of unusual, enclosed venue, such as Portaloo, phone box, post box or Tardis 2pts