Urooj Ashfaq @ Monkey Barrel
Urooj Ashfaq makes a triumphant return to Edinburgh with a baddie manifesto packed with fanfic delusions, astrology, and butt problems
Once accused by a reviewer (importantly, not us) of “certainly not” being edgy, Urooj Ashfaq is back with a vengeance: cue slutty dancing. What unfolds is her baddie origin story: an hour of gloriously chaotic, unfiltered stand-up that cuts between fanfiction fever dreams, her Westernised Indian Muslim identity, and unapologetic medical oversharing.
She flips between cultural contrasts of India and the UK, censorship and freedom, astrology and Allah, with fast-talking wit and sharp observational jabs. Both religion and horoscopes come under fire (yes, she knows that’s very edgy), and yes, she will ask for your star sign. Be prepared.
Her segues are intentionally and hilariously terrible. Each jarring pivot only heightens the impact of her bubbly set-ups and razor-edged punchlines, all delivered with endearing charm. But Ashfaq’s energy never falters. Even when she pauses mid-show to check how much time she has left, she recovers instantly – leaping into another story about her childhood before the moment can land. She can certainly talk the talk and if you insult her sister? She’ll slap a bitch… and then turn it into a punchline.
To really prove that reviewer wrong, Ashfaq (referring to the comedian, not her stoic Indian Muslim father, Mr Ashfaq) turns to the adolescent fever dream that is early 2010s Wattpad erotica. Her dramatic reading of a ‘Y/N sold to One Direction by your crack-addicted mother’ fanfic is absurd, oddly nostalgic, and delivered with impeccable timing and biting self-awareness. Her impressions – Harry Styles with a Dick Van Dyke chimney-sweep accent, Zayn Malik with an Arabic accent(?), and a full refusal to even attempt Niall – are ridiculous and brilliant.
She’s always been a baddie, proudly labelled “talkative” as a child, the kind who made the quiet girls in class talk and got kicked out of class for it. Now she gets paid for it. Final score: Ashfaq – 1, Reviewer – 0.
Urooj Ashfaq: How to Be a Baddie, Monkey Barrel (MB4), daily until 24 Aug, 6.25pm, £8-£15; extra show at Monkey Barrel (MB3), Sat 16 Aug, 2.50pm, £14-15