Prince Wilfred, Paul Sykes and Shaun Guff on their Edinburgh Fringe plans

Hi guys! Would you mind introducing yourselves? Let’s start with you, Prince Wilfred.
“I’m a bit offended, as I’d like to think my reputation precedes me. My name is Prince Wilfred, I’m eight years old, and I will stop at nothing to become the king. Though I am the youngest of 13 brothers, I’m the only one who really has what it takes to wear the crown.”

My apologies! Paul, let’s hear from you.
“I’m Paul Sykes: boxer, weightlifter, wonderful citizen. I don’t do introductions and I don’t suffer fools – I do suffer from arthritis after I engaged in combat with a large bluefin tuna off the coast of Scarborough in 1998. That same year I had a tense clash with David Dickinson after he denied that it was me that came up with his catchphrase ‘cheap as chips’. Let’s just say I’ve always read the H in Bargain Hunt as a C since then.”

Shaun, a little about yourself?
“It’s simple really – I am a man. A man who has hit rock bottom so you don’t have to.”

I’m sorry to hear that. Now, let’s talk about all things Fringe! Prince Wilfred, how would you define your show?
“I’ll keep it simple and humble: my Fringe show is the greatest Fringe show that Edinburgh has ever and likely will ever see. It showcases my many skills – my perfect diction, my effortless sense of style, my incredible ability to sing and dance while simultaneously ruminating on dastardly deeds.”

And you Paul?
“It’s like if I was on Piers Morgan’s Life Stories, except it’s on stage, 45 minutes long and ends in a musical number. Oh and Piers Morgan’s not in it.”

Shaun, what about you?
“Part memoir, part TED Talk and part fireworks. Enuff is Enuff with Shaun Guff is in no way a comedy. It’s a very serious seminar and I guarantee* that you will walk out a changed person from it (*no promises).”

Indeed! Moving on to a pretty trendy topic: masculinity. Wilfred, what does masculinity mean to you?
“Masculinity is about dominating a space so much that no one can take their eyes off of you. Come to my show and you’ll see… all eyes on me. Because I am a real man.”

All opinions are welcome here, I suppose. Paul, anything to add?
“Buying a vegan sausage roll and only eating the pastry.”

I’d never thought of it like that… Shaun?
“I’m going to shock you here – masculinity means absolutely nothing to me. I am a man, yes. That’s obvious. But am I masculine? Also yes. But does masculinity define me? Now that’s a good question. No it doesn’t.”

Insightful stuff guys. Would you say you face any barriers? Wilfred, what do you think?
“There is a great stigma around short men… something people call Short Kings. This is doubly concerning because I am in line to become the king. However, I am only eight years old, and I can guarantee that when I’m king, I’ll be the tallest man the world has ever seen.”

Paul, can you speak to this?
“Men today know nothing about survival. They’re not brought up on it. I grew up eating survival for breakfast, every day, with a side of tenacity, grit, and Golden Nuggets cereal.”

Inspired. And yourself, Shaun?
“You really are poking the old hornets' nest here, aren’t you! Listen, I’m not going to pretend that I’ve got it all figured out. Yes I am delivering a life-changing seminar to tens of people all over the UK and one could argue that I should be stable. And to a large extent, I am, but to a much larger extent, I face challenges most days."

Again, I’m sorry to hear of your struggles Shaun. Shall we change the subject? Let’s see... Wilfred, what are you most looking forward to about this year’s Fringe?
“Making loads of money which is very likely and will definitely happen.”

And you, Paul?
“I’ve heard very positive words spoken about the lasagne pie from Storries on Leith Walk.”

Shaun, what are you most excited for?
“I’m looking forward to a bit of a change of scene to be honest. I’m in the middle of costly divorce proceedings with my soon-to-be ex-wife, Helen, and there’s also misunderstanding around the delivery of a summons for a minor misdemeanor that I might have committed. Apparently I was trespassing, but I’m sure that’ll all blow over. I’m going to be in a container for a month! So good luck finding me there!”

Lastly, name three things you’d take with you on a desert island. Wilfred?
“A palace, a staff to take care of the palace, my mother (for feed and emotional labor).”

Naturally. And you, Paul?
“Resilience, determination and a DVD copy of Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed, just in case the locals haven’t seen it.”

Last but not least, you, Shaun?
“My wife.
My kids.
Cyanide.”

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Lil Wenker: BOYKING, Pleasance Courtyard, 7-30 Aug (not 17), 9.45pm
Zoe Cousin: Paul Sykes Is Back on the Family Patch, Hoots @ Nicolson Square, 20-30 Aug, 7.45pm
Shaun Guff: Enuff Is Enuff, Hoots @ Potterrow, 7-30 Aug, 6.20pm