Fringe Dog unveils categories for Terrier Awards

With the Edinburgh Fringe bounding towards us, canine critic Fringe Dog annouces what he'll be looking for in the third annual Terrier Awards

Feature by Fringe Dog | 06 Jun 2018
  • Fringe Dog - Terrier Awards

o boy o boy o boy i is slurpin your face and bringin you slippers because it time to wake-up,, this is gratest day outside all of august -- the fringe program have arrived !!!

2018 is actualy very special anniversry for comedys big prizes cõs it is exactly ten year since edimbrugh comedy award judge give official panel prize to "all the performers '. o boy the judges got the decisiom rite that year !!! but withot further doo the new terrier award categories are ;:

best headscratcher

is for briliant bafflin show that like gluggin cold slush puppy very too quickly and head hurt bad even thou it is much delicous ,, when your mind eventualy melt you still dont know what show was about -- but o boy it sure make you think

best wet nose

this award is for comedian who has " gone virus ' . no doubt the symptons start with common kennel cough but leaky sinus help germs splutter all about the place  . uh oh , now the public health watchdogs is in town, all edimbrugh is in quarantine and comedian is on cover of every epidemiology journal that matter ,, o boy !!!

best mangy old coat

is for comedian who not wash cloths all fringe and by week 3 the whiff is whaftin from stage and audience is envelope in invisible toxin cloud . o boy human nose not built to apreciate such rich 5star odor ..but make no mistake ,this bouquet have low notes and high notes and award will recognse only the most textured pong

best howl howl howl howl

is for show which stop bein funny after 45 minutes and it turn into great tragedy .

best winston churchill award for best depressed comedian

it very strange co-incidence but just as human sometime call depression "the black dog' , which is sayin popularise by winston churchill ,, all dogs call depression "the winston churchill ' !!! the roots of it go back to a melancholic mastiff who describe sadness to a veterinarian like this : ""o boy ,, i feel so low it like the great war is goin on all around us and i has just presided over a military disaster in gallipoli . i think my reputation is finished for a big long time  . '  this sayin was bit cumbersome and over time it change to things like "i been eatin too many of winston churchill's biscits ' . which much more convenent shortpaw for describin depressive symptoms   .this award is for most hilarious show illuminatin mental health theme thro briliant comedy .

while awards very very o boy excitin always remember wise word of strategum genuis sun tzu . i think it was in the art of war where he say ;"it not the winnin ,, but the takin part that counts ' . imspirational .

love from fringe dog

The third annual Terrier Awards winners are announced by The Skinny on Fri 24 Aug
The full Edinburgh Fringe programme is released on 6 Jun