Edinburgh Fringe 2018: The Terrier Awards

As the Edinburgh Fringe nears its conclusion, the best five-star comedy critic in town delivers his verdict on this year's shows. o boy o boy

Feature by Fringe Dog | 24 Aug 2018

hallo !!! after huge summit of dogs on meadows we is now ready to announnnce third annual terrier award !!!

best wet nose: sooz kempner

when sooz kempner was first feelin poorly just before sonic the hedgehog show we all think it salmonella or ringworm because these is transferable diseases from hedgehog to human !!! good news !!! it turn out sonic is from 90s before millenium bug and she in all clear ,sooz just have bit of fringe flu and she did not need to cancel show o boy !!!

Sooz Kempner: Super Sonic 90s Kid, PBH Free Fringe, Globe Bar, 24-26 Aug, 1pm; Banshee Labyrinth, 26 Aug only, 10.10pm, free

best mangy old coat: cat pictures to music for an hour

o boy my editor sent me to cat pictures to music for an hour to prove my objectivtiy  . now ,the identity of comedian behind cat show is mystery . it like cat burgler in disguise breakin the laws !!!

this show in hive has pictures movin slow .you get good look at cats in deetail -tufty ears ,wide eyes ,rough tongues ,a reel celebration of claws, mighty whiskas ,lots of starin cats ,happy cats ,sleepy cats ,surprise cats ,angry cats ., i admit a twinge of jelousy for cat beds –one was gray velvetine and one sheepskin . o boy !!!

then ,our winner !!! a white scraggly cat who has mangiest coat because cats is usualy so slinky !!! well done mangy maverick cat !!!

Cat Pictures to Music for an Hour, Heroes @ The Hive, until 26 Aug, 3.20pm, £5/PWYW

best headscratcher: sean morley

the people who matter at frimge is artist and audience and this show is about all of them ,i think !!! it sure is a big puzzler that make you think and sing how much i love sean !!! headscratcher award go to mr sean morley !!!

Sean Morley: I Apologise for my Recent Behaviour, Heroes @ Dragonfly, until 26 Aug, 7.20pm, £5/PWYW

best howl howl howl howl: steen raskopoulos

o boy this the hardest and easiest terrier award at same time !!! it hard because people might think i is not sincere in awardin prize for movin comedy show !!! but i very sincere if movin comedy show is also sincere . and there no show i see this year that as funny and then movin and sincere as steen raskopoulos's stay . it easy award to give as well because he is very briliant

Steen Raskopoulos: Stay, Underbelly Cowgate (Belly Button), until 26 Aug, 8pm, £7-12.50

best winston churchill award for best depressed comedian: rachel fairburn

this was tough one !!! this award is for show with best mental health theme ,and o boy i liked angle rachel fairburn came at it from ,which from garden centres ,fridge magnets and gossip ,  .o boy at least one very bad for mental health !!! we all love a gossip ,it makes us feel we are better and like top dog ,but sometimes gossips is like flea in ear we all need to scratch out .mental health is fragile ,respect & not judgin can go a long way .she win a nice fridge magnet with no life advice on it !!!

Rachel Fairburn: The Wolf at the Door, Underbelly Bristo Square (Dexter), 9:30pm, £6.50-11

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