The Dullest Blog: comedy ramblings to inspire the most tedious minutes of your week

Reality TV

Big Brother is upon us and I have a dilemma; do I commit my summer to watching it and keep up with the water cooler chat or do I get a life? I’ve already given up many an hour this year for The X Factor, Britain’s Got Talent and The Apprentice not to mention the (more than) occasional BT Vision hop over to Wife Swap USA and American Idol.

Like millions of other people around the world I can sit in a pub, on the bus, in a supermarket queue - well just about anywhere really - and discuss the faults and shortcomings of those people who take part, giving my considered and, let’s face it, superior view on their behaviours.

Why do they do it? Does the 50 yr old with bad teeth and a pot belly really think he’s got the X factor? Are the Apprentices genuinely the finest entrepreneurial business specimens Britain has to offer? How does anyone let their house get in such a state?

I mean, really, it’s embarrassing to watch some of the people that turn up on our screens who are clearly disturbed, with no talent whatsoever and should be thrown on the unwanted heap and I, along with many other viewers, will happily keep voicing my opinion to anyone who cares to listen. And since when did Jade Goody become a role model? Oh hang on, maybe that was my fault, maybe I bought all the magazines, read the book and wore the perfume… well maybe not quite that far but I did watch the programmes and I did form an opinion, but based on what?

The Apprentice making an arse of himself because he couldn’t sell a bunch of flowers to someone whose door he knocked on ‘spontaneously’ – where’s the bit where they get permission and signed consent from the ‘stranger’ to allow them to use the footage? Or the bit where the pot bellied wannabe has already gone through several rounds of auditions before he even reaches the opinion of Simon Cowell and his cronies?

And did not one single researcher mention Susan Boyle to the judges before she sang for the ‘first time’? An army of producers, researchers and television companies are having a whale of a time creating their storyboards and perhaps I need a reality check.

Who are the bigger fools – the people taking part in the reality programme or the people watching it?

I’m off to get my coat and go for a walk in the real world.

http://www.myspace.com/scottishjojo