STARS

Aries
Jupiter is in Mars' orbit which makes this the year that New Year's resolutions will be stuck to. New Year's resolution - to give a Piscean a present every month.

Taurus
We've all thought about giving up our bad habits but think of all the interesting people you've met because of them. New Year's resolution – stick to what you know.

Gemini
One month off the booze means mighty fish tank. New Years resolution – eat more cheese, especially before bed.

Cancer
If Kylie can catch it so can you! Check your boobs. If you don't have any find the nearest available pair. New Year's resolution – make a new friend every week.

Leo
New Year, New Life. Could it be time to drop it all and start again? New Year's resolution – make better friends.

Virgo
You'll be surprised how much fun making robots out of clay can be. Don't wear grey if you don't want to look like a terrorist. New Year's resolution – create more prettiness.

Libra
A sexy Sagittarius is making a bee-line for you. Single? Grab them with both hands. Not? Be careful fo you will be tempted. New Year's resolution – take more risks.

Scorpio
What goes around comes around. You've been a good person. Now it's time to reap what you've sown. New Year's resolution – it's all about me!

Sagittarius
You have your eye on someone. Keep at it and they will say yes eventually – after ten vodkas. New Year's resolution – don't put your keys in the bowl.

Capricorn
You'll feel unsettled and find it hard to relax this month. Got an itch? Try natural yoghurt. New Year's resolution – wear cotton undies.

Aquarius
Sod New Year's resolutions. Who are you kidding? Don't try, you'll only be disappointed. Chocolate will be big this year. New Year's resolution – hinder all others.

Pisces
Your boss is being a total dick. Tell them. They're not the boss of you! Well maybe they are but this is a time for change after all. New Year's resolution – shop more.