Dream Gig: Sam Lake

Ahead of his sophomore Edinburgh Fringe outing, Edinburgh-based comedian Sam Lake imagines his hun-tastic dream gig

Article by Sam Lake | 12 Jun 2023
  • Sam Lake's Dream Gig

I make it no secret that as much as I love stand-up, my ultimate goal is to be the next Graham Norton; the nation’s sweetheart and go-to light entertainment presenter. So it makes sense that my best gig would be the annual Eurovision show I host.

The beautiful babes at Piñata Comedy organise the show every year, and I’m lucky enough to host it. We started doing it back in 2020 when real Eurovision got cancelled and we ended up doing our own contest for musical comedy acts who all made songs in their bedrooms. We streamed them over Twitch with me talking in between songs to some 4000 people watching.

Cut to 2023, where we put on the show LIVE at the Clapham Grand and it was the most bonkers and brilliant show. Stunning songs, dancers, acrobats AND I killed Terry Wogan live on stage!

I love that we created a show for big time Eurovision fans (and plain ol’ weirdos). I love a show that brings in an audience you wouldn’t normally get in most comedy clubs, which can still be overwhelmingly male, straight and staggy. But every so often,  I’ll catch a glimpse of a group of fun-loving huns, respectfully but enthusiastically enjoying the gig and I think to myself “I would actually kill for you.” So I thought ‘What if my dream gig is a celebration of Hun Culture’? Welcome to… Hun-tober-fest.

If you didn't know, Hun Culture is the antithesis of Lad Culture, celebrating extraordinary women doing mostly ordinary things, and never tearing them down when they slip up. Instead, we applaud them. We meme them.

Hun Culture is Alexandra Burke confidently stating on GMTV she invented the term 'elephant in the room'. It’s getting lit at a Slug & Lettuce bottomless brunch before doing the school run. It's ..........Rebekah Vardy's account.

Set in a German beer hall adorned with leopard print, Hun-tober-fest (trademark pending) is the only comedy night that takes certified huns and gives them their rightful place on stage, to be celebrated and appreciated by the people who love them (other huns).

Where is this beer hall? Tebay Services – the only place we could get planning permission to erect a corn silo filled with Chardonnay.

When is Hun-tober-fest? Middle of June, starting at a reasonable 3pm, done by 6pm (latest).

Where can you get tickets? Via a free giveaway on This Morning.

Continuing to live out my Graham Norton fantasy, I host the gig standing centre stage, facing bench after bench of afternoon 'Sauvvy-B' bitches. My favourite TikTok hun, Danielle Walsh, is on bar duties, making everyone the most potent of cocktails before sucking them up herself through a straw from eight yards away.

There’s also one stag-do who accidentally booked tickets thinking it was the real Oktoberfest. They’re allowed in if they agree to wear the official Hun-tober-fest merch, a t-shirt that says 'Shes, Gays & Theys for Rosé.' They sheepishly sit in the designated stag section, their awkwardness drowned out by the cries of “Oh you are awful Jill, let’s finish the bottle!”, from the surrounding huns.

The line-up is both hunny and funny. Lorraine Kelly does a sparkling satirical set and anytime a joke doesn’t work she just goes “What was the point of that!?” as if the audience were Jennifer Arcuri. Lisa Scott Lee has jetted in from Dubai to do a tight 10, and swears if the set doesn’t go well she will quit comedy forever (classic Scott-Lee ultimatum). Ruth Langsford does some spot-on impressions, but they’re just impressions of her friends that no one knows about. OF COURSE Eamonn insists on coming on stage with her too.

The headline set is a double act: Alison Hammond and Gemma Collins. Within seconds, Gemma falls into the well signposted orchestra pit. Alison tries to help her but accidentally pushes a stage hand into the front row of benches. The set goes on this way for 25 minutes. There are no survivors. It’s peak comedy.

6pm strikes. The audience goes home. Me and the acts are in the green room enjoying a post-show natter, secretly hoping one of them will give me some industry dirt. Then Ruth, who’s on her fourth 'seccy, says my favourite 8 words “Well, you didn’t hear this from me BUT…”. And let me tell you, the goss is JUICY.

Sam Lake: Aspiring DILF (Preview), Monkey Barrel Comedy, Edinburgh, 17 Jun, 8pm, £7; also at the Edinburgh Fringe, Monkey Barrel (MB2), 2-27 Aug (not 14), 12.05pm, £7-£12

Follow Sam on Twitter and Instagram at @MrSamLake