Glasgow collective CHUNKS crash into the Fringe

The performers behind one of the best regular comedy nights in Glasgow are staging a take-over of the Edinburgh Fringe. We ask the CHUNKS collective to plan an approved itinerary of their affiliated shows – and what they'd say about each other

Feature by CHUNKS | 04 Aug 2016

David Callaghan: Let’s Get This Party Started

Nice guy. A 'man' so convinced of his comedic genius he doesn't feel the need to prove it by doing a show long enough to be judged by the Edinburgh Award panel. Had an affair with his best mate's gran, Clarabelle. 
Just the Tonic at The Mash House, 4-28 (Not 15) Aug, 11.50am, Free

Paul McDaniel: Woop Woop It’s Da Sound of That Pauly

Great lay. Notorious coke-fiend. One hand flipping the bird, the other just revving on the motorcycle.
Laughing Horse @ The Three Sisters, various dates, 12.15pm, Free

Richard Brown: Stop Children What’s That Sound? Everybody Look, It’s Richard Brown

Nice guy. Bill Burr's shadow realm tormentor. A Guardian column with less conviction. Some audiences hate Richard brown, the fun part is knowing Richard formed the same opinion of them before he even gets onstage.
Just the Tonic at The Caves, 4-28 Aug (Not 15), 12.40pm, £3-5/PWYW

Rachel Jackson: Force of Nature

Nice guy. No relation.
Sportsters Bar, 6-28 Aug, 12.30pm, PBH Free Fringe

Bob Graham: Fifth Show

Nice guy. The result of that time a wizard made a grudge come to life.
Scottish Comedy Festival @ Beehive Inn, 4-27 Aug (Not 15), 13.15pm, Free

Pat Mulholland: Mulhollandland

Nice guy. Like if Michael Cera got Jumanjied. Used to turn up to gigs in motorcycle gear. Years later we found out that he used to ride a motorcycle.
Laughing Horse @ 48 Below, 4-28 Aug, 13.15pm, Free

Pearse James: Multichuckle

Nice guy. More authentically Irish than Paul McDaniel. Once met Andi Osho, I think. Probably good at air hockey... I'd imagine.
Woodland Creatures, 8-14 Aug, 3.20pm, Free

Between performances: Suggestions for free time 

4.32pm: Watch almost-topical street-performing students (e.g. The All-Male-Female Ghostbusters). Envy their youth and energy.

4.33pm: Search for real-entertainment.

5.14pm: Go for a coffee. Watch as satirical comedians desperately try to re-write their shows post-Brexit.

5.16pm: Read Buzzfeed article entitled 43 Ways To Crush A Performer's Spirit This Festival Season (You Won't Believe What's At 19...)

Gemma Flynn: Around the Way Girl

Nice guy. Literally one of only two females on this list – just like yer maw on the 'cunts I've shagged' list. Judges men by how honourable their death was. Reminds us of Erroll Flynn, except in terms of gender, life and first name.
Sportsters Bar, 6-28 Aug, (Not 15), 5.30pm, PBH Free Fringe

While you wait for the next CHUNKS-affiliated show...

6.58pm: Resist pulled pork! It’s over-rated. Contemplate a shawarma.

6.59pm: Succumb to the temptation of pulled pork.

Christopher MacArthur-Boyd and Rosco McLelland

CMB – Nice guy. A child's drawing of a librarian. 'Gilded Balloon guy'.
Rosco – Nice guy. Star of Plumbing Live!
This double-header should be good but has science found a way to swap their voices, at least for one month?
Gilded Balloon at The Counting House, 3-29 Aug, 8.00pm, £5/PWYW

On your way to the next CHUNKS show...

9.11pm Comfort weeping comedian lying in street, tell them three-stars isn’t so bad. 

Nev: Guts

Nice guy. A white, one-man Wu-Tang Clan. The MF Doom of Scottish comedy. What we like about Nevs face is it could be the before picture for an advert for protein shake or a dangers of drugs advert.
Laughing Horse @ The Hanover Tap [Formerly Jekyll & Hyde], 4-28 Aug, 10.00pm, Free

Matty Finlayson: My Big Dick is Making Me Thirsty

Nice guy. Like an angry Newton Faulkner with his cock out. Matty can identify the paintings of the dogs from the film Goodfellas.
Laughing Horse @ The Crags Bar, 4-28 Aug, 10.00pm, Free

Ally Houston

Nice guy. Lucky that he looks nice. Potential cult leader. Rarely takes the mic out the stand, thus making it very hard to drop. If Limmy dies and they make a film biopic and Ally Houston doesn't get to audition for the lead part Bob Graham loses £20 in a bet.
Woodland Creatures, 14-28 Aug, 10.00pm, Free

Collect all CHUNKS at: 

CHUNKS: My Feminist Ex-Girlfriend’s Dead Dad (A Coming Of Age Show) & Other Potentially Award Winning Fringe Clichés – The Musical

Sabor, 16 & 22 Aug, 11.30pm

6.00am: Bedtime