Fringe Dog is back with the 5th Terrier Awards

oh my edimburgh, i have missed you. it has bin so long i think re-introductions are in order !!!

my name is fringe dog and my life calling is reviewin’ comedy and i am also founder of the terrier awards 

this year will be 5 years since the terrier awards started o boy which means 35 annums in terrier time !!! i am very wise fringe dog

i am proud to have earned a reputation as an unbiased critic in edimburgh. my method is free for any critic who wish to follow it: i give everyone 5stars and everyone is my favourite. 

unfortunately with pandemic i was forced to apply for FURlough like many others. but my application was rejected because i insisted reviewing comedians makes me key worker. her majesty’s treasury disagreed and told me i must re-train as covid sniffer dog !!! i assumed it would have been a job in cybark !!!

because i have 300 million olfactory receptors up my nose, sniffin’ out these dastardly germs hasn’t bin too ruff work. although, i did keep makin’ mistake of giving patients 5stars instead of their covid test results. 

now my local nhs clinic tells me it’ll be delighted to let me return to comedy reviewing ~ just in time for this little return of the fringe !!! hurrah and hooray !!!

it is with great pleasure i can also bring back the terrier awards. the categories for the 2021 awards are below and the winners will be announced in august on the skinny website  

the best muzzle award 

this award goes to the most decorative face mask worn over a wet nose in august 

the best wet nose  

this prize is for the person who has the most covid tests during the month.

the best super spreader  

this one is for the venue who has made a real dog's breakfast of responsible distancing, and the place is as safe to enter as a plague pit. 

the smells like mean spirit award 

this dishonour will go to the venue who brings down the mood of the fringe by treating people as dogsbodies with dickensian labour practices. 

*** please note: i hope not to have to award the above two prizes 

the best doggy bag award

i think it was philosopher socrates who said “one man’s meat is another man’s poison.” this award is for the best place to find grub in august 

*** please note: i reserve right to award this to a city bin if that bin contains exemplary leftovers of needless food waste. 

the best water bowl  

this is for the venue that makes outdoors a pleasure for fringe-goers and dogs alike to meet and play !!!

the best lapping tongue from a car window 

this is for the most brilliant drive-through swab test available at clinics and hospitals in edimburgh.

the best leader of the pack

this is reserved for anyone involved with the fringe who shows calm leadership in whatever role big or small, setting an example we rarely see from our frisky political masters. 

the best winston churchill award for mental health 

this award goes to the show with a strong mental health theme (the award is named after winston churchill for his tireless work studying depression in his black dog) 

the best spirit of nice happiness 

this is for the nicest person in edimbrugh 

the separation-anxiety award 

this is for the artist who isn't in edimburgh this year and who we miss terribly. we will make sure to do a commemorative howl at the castle fireworks every night for them.

*** please note: i may award this to everyone who isn't in edimburgh 

i can’t wait to go walkies with you on edimbrugh’s cobbled streets, o boy o boy o boy !!!

love from fringe dog.

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Follow Fringedog on Twitter @fringedog
Winners will be announced on The Skinny website and on Twitter on Thursday 26 Aug (we hope)