V/A (compiled by Sir Michael Caine) - Cained (Universal)

Albums compiled by celebrities are little more than an extention of the celebrity cult, intended to make us lowly worms - without our own book, diet plan or themed wedding - feel that we are in some way privy to the secret lives of these demi-Gods of modern culture. It would be nice to hate this album, to dismiss it as a shallow piece of marketing that's fooling no-one, but infuriatingly, the sheer weight of Caine's charisma carries it along. The track selection is mediocre at best, focusing on radio-friendly chill-out anthems such as St Germain's Rose Rouge and Atman's Path of Love. The inclusion of Sunshine's Better by John Martyn garners it an extra star, but two are immediately deducted for the use of Felix Da Housecat's embarrassingly awful Sinnerman remix. Apparently Caine's created mix-tapes for years now for all his friends, but from the strength of this, that's about as appealing as having an elderly relative foist dodgy knitwear on you every Christmas. [Liam Arnold]