Flo-Rida - Mail on Sunday

Well, here we go with yet another example in the eternal tradition of a mediocre artist producing a blinder of a single more or less surrounded by an album of padding. Yelping and whining like a teacup Chihuahua, Flo-Rida drags us through fourteen tracks of uninspiring beats, creaky old rhymes and tired cliché. Booties are admired, hoods are repped and shorties are invariably as hot as some sort of kitchen appliance (oven, toaster, George Foreman grill). The album is top-heavy with the usual r'n'b harem of Lil Wayne, Sean Kingston, T-Pain, Will.I.Am and the ubiquitous Timbaland, whose contribution on forthcoming single Elevator just about rises to the challenge of the stand-out track, lady-friendly dancefloor punisher, Low. The low point comes with Freaky Deaky, a g-funkesque croon so chronically cheesy it teeters on the edge of self-parody before romping triumphantly over the line in a flurry of bad vocals and eye-watering innuendo. [Robin Black]