Pride and Promiscuity

It seems a a cruel sport to subject England's celebrated lady of letters to such bawdy parody. The fashion of modern times for speaking of matters better left to discretion sadly lights upon the private lives of her elegantly crafted heroes, heroines and villains, bringing to light their sordid imaginings in a irreverent pastiche of Jane Austen's austere prose.

For those enamoured of Fanny Price, there is enchantment in the reimagining of the notorious play from Mansfield Park, yet surely this greatest of all love letters to temperance and patience garnered a more intense erotic charm from its restraint and tact. Quite what Elizabeth and Darcy consider of their own coupling is mysterious, and the sly Mr Churchill from Emma puts his riddling vanity to quite contrary ends.

The abundance of Greek love, riding crop and sensual hieroglyphics may excite the lower sort of reader, yet must the august Austin be subjected to indignity? By aping her majestic language, Eckstut strips Jane as naked as the characters in their passionate embraces. As a further example of a vaudeville aesthetic entering our common tastes, the stripping of this literary giant is perhaps better left to the burlesque acts of the former colonies. [Lord Gareth K of Vile]