Birds, Beasts, Banter: Scottish Christmas Theatre round-up

It's the busiest time of year in theatreland, with families lining up to make their festive outings, so we've taken one seven-year-old to some of the central belt's finest Christmas plays and pantos.

Cinderella: A Fairytale, Lyceum Theatre, Edinburgh

This year’s Christmas show at the Lyceum is a fresh and vibrant take on the age-old tale which enchants and entertains in equal measure. 

Cinderella loses her father and is left with a stepmother and stepsiblings, characters drawn more sympathetically than in a traditional telling whose grotesqueries have been updated for a contemporary audience. Birds play a prominent role, beautiful puppets manipulated by the performers themselves. They take on the role of the fairy godmother, a timely reminder that salvation is delivered by nature rather than magic. Although the birds are pretty magical, to be fair.  

It spirals, increasingly farcical; a step-sibling is dressed as a dog, pretending to be a dog. “WOOF!” he says to the Prince. Bad news, the Prince thinks you’re a dog and wants to play with you. Extreme means must be taken to ensure the step sister’s foot will fit in the shoe – gruesome means. My son, aged seven, can’t believe it. “It’s not real is it?” he says, once, twice, louder. “IT’S NOT REAL IS IT?” It’s a brilliant production, a serious Christmas show which is not a pantomime but utilises some of its tropes to unite audiences of all ages in laughter, rapture, and body horror. 

Beauty and the Beast, Citizens Theatre, Glasgow

The first Christmas show in the revitalised Citz and what a homecoming it is. We open with the cast in front of the curtain, starting a singalong with the audience. Attempts to separate the "choir" based on seating area go… mediumly. 

This is no Disney version of Beauty and the Beast, although there are nods to the audience’s (presumed) overfamiliarity with that take. The musical accompaniment becomes unpleasantly discordant just when we might expect a candlestick to start singing, and the Mrs Potts character has had a sinister makeover. 

Narration is provided by Beauty’s cat, Mr Whiskers, and Beast’s dog, Captain Biscuits, bringing both humour to the darker moments as well as an unexpected love story. The staging is ingenious, incorporating shadow puppetry, live musical performance by the cast, impactful and at times chilling set design, and a Beast costume like no other. 

It wouldn’t be a Citizens’ production without some engagement with social issues, even if it is Christmas. At its core is a critique of class privilege, and, through the character of Beauty’s father, a hilarious takedown of the mechanisms of capitalism – but with songs and a blue fluffy Beast who brought the curse on himself with Bullingdon-style behaviour. Fun for all the family. 

And the seven-year-old’s review? “Terrifying. It was terrifying. That song will live in my nightmares.” He would go again tomorrow. 

Gallus in Weegieland, Tron Theatre, Glasgow

The inimitable Tron panto returns with another raucous twist on a classic tale, swapping Alice for Gallus and situating her in a Burberry-striped Weegieland. It has everything you know and love about a Johnny McKnight panto save for the dame herself, who’s up in Stirling this year. 

There are arcane Glasgow references galore – side eyes at the West End, multiple references to the inferiority of the King’s Theatre panto slash bar prices, a wee dig at Stefan King if memory serves. An audience member, unexpectedly yet perfectly named Jonty, is picked out by the evil queen early in the performance and sexually harassed periodically going forwards. 

There’s a real feeling of 'we’re all in this together', the Tron the plucky underdog of the city’s theatre scene, making up for its lack of set budget with wit and give-it-your-all performances. The audience is made up of works and friend nights out and families albeit ones with slightly older kids, ideally Glaswegian if they want to get all the jokes. Actually, maybe not all – there are levels to the joke comprehension. It’s got big knees up energy, and feels like coming home. The verdict of the seven year old? "This is my favourite." Can you explain why? "Because it's really funny."

Jack and the Beanstalk, Festival Theatre, Edinburgh

This is the last Festival Theatre outing for these Edinburgh panto stalwarts before they return to the King's Theatre next year, a fact referenced multiple times by Alan Stewart and Grant Stott on stage. They're excited, no shade to their current hosts.

This year's show is a frenetic spectacular with frankly mind-bending production values. There are dancers, multiple musical numbers, quick-fire set changes, a talent show, multimedia audience interaction... A gigantic beanstalk grows from the floor, enormous and terrifying puppets menace the cast and audience, pyrotechnics explode on stage. There are, as always, many, many references to the fact Grant Stott is a Hibee, and he gets a plug in for his radio show, again an important and necessary tradition. 

For the kids, there's delight throughout, particularly when they play a bit of Golden of KPop Demon Hunters fame, and make a 6-7 joke, to the ongoing bafflement of the grown-ups in the room. At the end, Stewart brings a few of the children on stage for some twinkly interactions and a round of Old MacDonald. These old hands really know their audience.