At-home student cocktails on the cheap

If you're strapped for cash but still want to have a messy night, there's clearly only one option: do it yourself

Feature by Paris Gourtsoyannis | 28 Sep 2010

Cherry Cola

Pour one shot of Cherry Sourz and one shot of vodka into a glass. Top up with Coke. If you don’t fancy giving your money to Vodka Revolution, this is a fair approximation of something they might flog you – or rather, it will have a similar effect.

TGV

Fill up a cocktail shaker with ice. Pour in one shot of tequila, one shot of gin, and one shot of vodka. Top up with Red Bull and shake vigorously. This is, by no stretch of the imagination, a cocktail: pour into shot glasses and knock back. Like the trains in France, this gets you there quickly. With respects to Dali’s Bar, 35 Rue des Bouchers, Brussels, Belgium.

Green Monster

To make your snakebite, fill a pint glass with equal amounts of cider and lager, leaving room for a ‘depth-charge’ shot to be dropped in. A dash of blackcurrant cordial is optional, and for the best artistic results should be left out in this case. Drop a shot of crème de menthe in and drink before the second thoughts kick in. This is a recession-busting means of making merry with alcohol that leaves you minty fresh.

Buckfast Float

Take a large, tall glass and add roughly equal amounts of chilled Buckfast and orange juice until half full. Add 2-4 scoops of vanilla ice cream, depending on the size of your glass – or for even more heinous results, Buckfast ice cream, available intermittently from selected brave retailers before the inevitable media outcry. Top up with chilled lemonade until full, and stir gently. Garnish with your dignity, because you won’t be needing that much longer.

Bamgria

Add ice and chopped fruit – grapes, apples, pears and oranges work best – to a large bowl. Fill with Buckfast and Irn Bru, using a ratio of roughly twice as much Irn Bru as Buckfast. Congratulations! You are now scum. However, the profits from your drop in social status are helping to maintain the buildings and grounds of a beautiful Benedictine abbey in south Devon. Get your head round that.

Bobby Dazzler

Pour one shot of Red Aftershock, one shot of tequila, and one shot of whisky into a glass. A garnish of hundreds ‘n’ thousands is optional. Disposing of this into your mouth as quickly as possible, without tasting it, is not.