Shiny Toy Guns - Rainy Monday

Like many newly-signed bands, Shiny Toy Guns have a high opinion of themselves. But unlike the tongue-in-cheek soliloquies of others, these slick Californians are utterly convinced of their own importance. Their blurb tells us that STGs have "a desire to establish a community in which other musicians can learn from their accomplishments." Puke. Or, as keyboardist Jeremy Dawson proclaims: "When music history is written we don't want to be a footnote, we want to be an entire chapter." But with Rainy Monday – bland, limping pop smothered in 80s synths – it appears they've missed the copy deadline by 20 years. [Nick Mitchell]