Randan Discotheque - Daily Record May 18th 1993

As targets go, the Daily Record is hardly a tricky beast to land a blow on. Depressingly, however, this drab list of random utterances is as wearyingly parochial as the rag it purports to lampoon. Taking his, er, inspiration from a 16-year-old edition of our most beloved red-top, singer Craig Coulthard mines the paper’s pages to recount a series of unrelated stories about everything from domestic footballing stalwarts to industrial disputes in a grating Fife monotone. And that, apart from some toytown synths and naff mariachi guitar flourishes, is it: there’s no insight and, ultimately, no point to what's on offer here. It’s not impossible to blend humour and music successfully, but on the evidence here, Coulthard needs to sharpen his schtick.