El Susio Dozenza - December 2009

As the rain batters down on the streets of Glasgow, Ryan Drever seeks refuge in <strong>Mariachi El Bronx</strong>'s tour bus as they trawl through December's singles to find the good, the bad and the next Kenny G.

Feature by Ryan Drever | 01 Dec 2009

Reviewing Personnel:

Matt Caughthran (Vocals)
Joby Ford (Guitars/Vocals)

Black Gold - Idols (Red Bull, 14 Dec)

Matt: I was hoping something good was gonna happen, but nothing did.
Joby: Yeah, it definitely had the potential to go some place. Then it hit that double-time section. As a band, one thing we all do agree on is that that sucks!
Ryan: Marks out of ten?
Matt: I'll give this a five...
Joby: Yeah.
Matt: ...but with that there's an asterisk that says: 'The middle of the road' is the worst place to be in music. So, you're actually better off getting a one.

The Notwist - Come In (City Slang, 14 Dec)

Joby: The Postal Service do this really badly already, and this... yeah, it's all bad.
Matt: Yeah, this sucks. I'll give that a three.
Joby: Oh, shit, I think we might be on the same label as these guys. Sorry!

The Cribs - We Share The Same Skies (Wichita, 7 Dec)

Joby: You know what, this is what The Cribs do. They've got that sort of British bop and bubblegum chorus thing going on – it's pretty 'down the road' for The Cribs.
Matt: I like The Cribs. This is not the world's greatest song, but I still support the band, and God bless them.
Joby: I'm going to give it a seven.

Ex-Wives - Fucking Dutch (Radio Is Down, 7 Dec)

Joby: This is alright. I was a big fan of the bands these guys take after, like Barkmarket and Jawbox. The second song [Disgrace of the North] was much better than the single Fucking Dutch – it actually sounded like it was going some place. It's cool though, I'll give it a 7.
Matt: I'll give it a five... I thought it was alright.
Joby: Matt hates this kind of stuff!

Husky Rescue - We Shall Burn Bright (Catskills, Out Now)

Joby: These are probably the worst drum samples I've ever heard in my entire life.
Matt: Yeah, not off to a good start.
Joby: This 100% demonstrates why it doesn't mean you can make music just because you have a computer. I'm giving this a zero!
Matt: Zero. Trash-flavoured trash.
Joby: This is horrible.

Acoustic Ladyland - The Mighty Q (Strong and Wrong, 7 Dec)

Joby: That's my Achilles heel right there – the saxophone.
Matt: I don't mind this. It sucks, but I don't mind it.
Joby: Man, I can't get down with the sax! I'm gonna break this one into two categories. Anytime I hear a saxophone I just lose it. So, I'm gonna give them a ten for originality but a zero for choosing to use the saxophone.
Matt: I'm going zero. I'm picturing in my head what they look like and I'm imagining they work in a strictly vegan diner that Joby and I went to in Toronto where they DJ with kitchen appliances. This is a nightmare for me.

Kid Harpoon - Once (Young Turks, 14 Dec)

Both: Oh God!
Joby: I'll go on record and say that I don't know who this guy is but I'm going to guess that English is not his first language because lyrically it's...
Matt: (interrupts) ...this might be the biggest wimp ever. I don't like it.
Joby: I'm going 'goose egg' on this one.
Matt: Yeah I'm going 'goose egg' too, but I'd like to keep it if that's possible.

French For Cartridge - Oooh! (Dinner With Daisy, 14 Dec)

Joby: There are very few bands that can mix genres and make sense, and this is not one of them. I'm going to go with a three.
Ryan: That's actually fairly generous compared to the rest.
Joby: I mean, the production's not bad, so that's why I'll give them three.
Matt: I'll see your three.

El Dog - Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow (Lo-five Records, 7 Dec)

Joby: I'm going to give this a ten because it's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. You can't tell what a band sounds like from doing a cover of Let it Snow, but man, that is fucking hilarious. Ten, all the way.
Matt: I'll give it a ten, if it was possible I'd give it a twenty.

Quartershade - Statues (Yellow Noise, 14 Dec)

Joby: You can tell this band is brand new. I think if they put some time into the recordings and if you give them a couple of years they're probably going to be pretty good. Taking this as it is, it's a tough listen. I'll give it a five.
Matt: I agree with Joby, I'll give it a four though.

The Pilots - OneTwoThree (Cacophony, Dec 7)

Joby: Fuck it, man. Why does every band think the Bee Gees are cool all of a sudden? OK, so the Bee Gees were good at what they did, they could pull it off. Still, people sit there and try to break out this Bee Gees shit.
Matt: This is the worst combination of Bee Gees and Modest Mouse to me. I'm zero on this.
Joby: Yeah, big zero.

Cortney Tidwell - So We Sing (City Slang, 14 Dec)

Joby: I like this. Don't fuck it up, Cortney!
Matt: It's good. Nice singing.
Joby: I'm going to give this an eight. It's good, though it's meandering a little bit...
Matt: I'll give this a seven, I like it.
Joby: Yeah, I like it too. This is my favourite of the lot.
Matt: Let It Snow's good but this is the clear winner.

http://www.thebronxxx.com