XFM Column
How Soon Is Nul?
| 10 Feb 2007
HOW SOON IS NUL?
While 2006 was a massively satisfying year for Morrissey fans (like myself), merely days into the new year Moz's loyal have realised 2007 will be slightly strange. He started off by claiming he wanted an honour from the Queen, and then confounded everyone with his Eurovision comments. You'd expect that when the be-quiffed one mentioned Eurovision it would be another carefully crafted, scathing soundbite about it being a parade of mediocrity and disillusionment. But no. He actually wants a go!
If you thought Lordi were bizarre, can you imagine the master of the miserable taking to the stage in Finland? Patriotic, waving a Union Jack, maybe fishing for votes from Holland with tulips in his back pocket instead of gladioli. He'd be the first contestant to ever out-quip Wogan.
The worry is that the man has just got his career back on track and Eurovision could kill it off entirely. His last two albums have been amongst his best post-Smiths material, and anyone who caught him live last year will agree that he is back to being one of the greatest performers you'll ever see: enigmatic, in full voice and best of all, still funny.
However, having an established star at Eurovision might cause the other nations to raise their game. France could enter Air. Aqua could reform and represent Denmark. And, just like a bizarre dream I once had, David Hasselhoff could represent Germany, dressed in his Baywatch outfit with vier beer pitcher-wielding fraulines aligned behind him. I should cut down on the cheese before bedtime.
Although I laughed out loud when I read about Morrissey's plan, and as much as it's curiously tempting to see it happen, I think it's too big a risk for Morrissey to take. The joke just isn't funny anymore.
Just for a Eurovision Google:
1. What was the name of Lordi's winning song in 2006?
2. Which Eurovision star performed 'Hand In Glove' with The Smiths in 1984?
3. Which Hall and Oates song got Daz Sampson to No. 7 in 2004?
Answers
1. Hard Rock Hallelujah!
2. Sandie Shaw
3. Out of Touch – Daz was half of Uniting Nations
While 2006 was a massively satisfying year for Morrissey fans (like myself), merely days into the new year Moz's loyal have realised 2007 will be slightly strange. He started off by claiming he wanted an honour from the Queen, and then confounded everyone with his Eurovision comments. You'd expect that when the be-quiffed one mentioned Eurovision it would be another carefully crafted, scathing soundbite about it being a parade of mediocrity and disillusionment. But no. He actually wants a go!
If you thought Lordi were bizarre, can you imagine the master of the miserable taking to the stage in Finland? Patriotic, waving a Union Jack, maybe fishing for votes from Holland with tulips in his back pocket instead of gladioli. He'd be the first contestant to ever out-quip Wogan.
The worry is that the man has just got his career back on track and Eurovision could kill it off entirely. His last two albums have been amongst his best post-Smiths material, and anyone who caught him live last year will agree that he is back to being one of the greatest performers you'll ever see: enigmatic, in full voice and best of all, still funny.
However, having an established star at Eurovision might cause the other nations to raise their game. France could enter Air. Aqua could reform and represent Denmark. And, just like a bizarre dream I once had, David Hasselhoff could represent Germany, dressed in his Baywatch outfit with vier beer pitcher-wielding fraulines aligned behind him. I should cut down on the cheese before bedtime.
Although I laughed out loud when I read about Morrissey's plan, and as much as it's curiously tempting to see it happen, I think it's too big a risk for Morrissey to take. The joke just isn't funny anymore.
Just for a Eurovision Google:
1. What was the name of Lordi's winning song in 2006?
2. Which Eurovision star performed 'Hand In Glove' with The Smiths in 1984?
3. Which Hall and Oates song got Daz Sampson to No. 7 in 2004?
Answers
1. Hard Rock Hallelujah!
2. Sandie Shaw
3. Out of Touch – Daz was half of Uniting Nations
Hear Fraser Thomson's show on XFM Scotland (105.7-106.1FM) from 10am-1pm, Mon-Fri
[Charlotte - can we put the answers upside down on the page?]
[Charlotte - can we put the answers upside down on the page?]