The Checks @ Oran Mor

If hell is hair metal then The Checks are surely Satan's spawn; a singer who clearly wants to be reincarnated as Jon Bon Jovi and a three piece rhythm section who wear their guitars so high that they're practically necklaces, all clad in trousers tighter than a jilted girl's ex-boyfriend. As for the music? These lads make Jet sound good. Peddling their swampy uninspired blues rock to a few homesick Kiwis in the near deserted reaches of Oran Mor, The Checks make two good moves: stealing the bass line from Marilyn Manson's The Beautiful People and the first minute of new song Terribly Easy, which departs from the poodle-rock norm with a lilting melody that doesn't make you want to tear your own ears off in protest. But this promise sadly descends into yet more guitar abuse. If this is the best of New Zealand's new music, we can only fear for the nation's youth. [Laura Paterson]