Melvins - The King's Speech

Buzz Osborne and Dale Crover (AKA Melvins) have been laying waste to stages, bassists and their own ear lobes over the course of twenty odd albums in a career spanning as many years. Legend has it that the pair both played in Fecal Matter with Kurt Cobain (there's no nice way to say that) before Nirvana formed.

Now, featuring the expanded line up of Seattle duo Big Business, they have just released the dual percussive assault that is (A) Senile Animal, a vicious bombardment of straight up sludge rock. With a lot on his mind, King Buzzo delivered his Christmas speech to The Skinny…

On Melvins secret formula…

"Well, it would be a secret if it is in fact now a secret so there it is. It's a secret."

On old age…

"Our hearing is really starting to go so we have to crank the amps up a lot more than we used to, but I don't give a fuck about hearing. As far as I'm concerned I've heard enough and the older I get the less I'm going to want to hear anyway. Fuck hearing or listening to anything or anyone about anything or anyone."

On self help…

"Our motto for recording and for touring is "helping through hollering." It's a good plan and the guys seem to respond to it well. It's a good record and everyone on earth should own a copy, but we wouldn't want to "should" anyone to death."

On the environment…

"Al Gore insists our air is getting warmer as a result of people smoking and driving cars and I'm all for it. Think about it, no more coats to wear and imagine how much we'll save on not heating our houses! Mr. Gore thinks this is a bad thing for some reason that I can't figure. Warming the planet will be like Mana from heaven. It will be perfect."

On Scotland…

"We like Haggis! Hell, I'd eat the guts of almost anything. We will be in the UK in December, so get your shit kickers all polished up for the big show."

On label politics…

"I think if you listen to any one of our albums, no matter what label it's on, it's clear that we have had no problem doing whatever we want. Even on Atlantic they had no problem with us doing a record a year for three years. No problem."

On supergroups…

"My ideal collaboration would be with Judy Garland. We could exchange drug horror stories and then make a record that would sell a billion. Judy Garland and Jimi Hendrix. Imagine it, 'Somewhere over the Rainbow' with Hendrix out of his mind on acid and Judy drooling blue from fistfuls of Valium. Far out..."

Enlightening stuff Buzz, could you do this for us every year please? Old Liz doesn't break it down in quite the same way.