Love Bites: First Round On Me

I encountered the term ‘altru-hedonism’ for the first time in the pub, when it was used by a friend in reference to their purchasing the first five-pint round. In simple terms, it is the practice of maximising your own self-satisfaction by helping others.

Buying the first round appears generously altruistic, but it actually carries a more hedonistic undertone; the first buyer instantly builds camaraderie while quietly binding the rest of the group to an extended cycle of superficial pleasure. Certainly not the most charitable example, but I happily filed the term away in my mental glossary of therapeutic-sounding buzzwords.

Then, a few weeks ago, a stranger on public transport complimented my hair. I couldn’t help but think – what a simple, perfect, modern-day example of altru-hedonism. That person on the train made my day, and I can bet they slept like a baby that night, basking in the positive after-effects of their joy-spreading.

Obviously, doing nice things for other people makes us feel better, so much so that altru-hedonism is recommended as a therapeutic tool to help improve mood. I learned this nine years ago, when a therapist suggested that I complete more selfless acts of service. I probably should have considered the obvious benefits much earlier in life, but the psyche of a 19-year-old university student often leans more towards hedonism than altruism.

The world has felt like a scary place for quite some time. If the weight of this is making you feel helpless, I implore you all to engage in altru-hedonism in any way you can. Buy the first five-pint round in the pub and expect zero pints in return. Drive your neighbour to the tip. For god’s sake, give the street fundraisers outside Boots the ten minutes of your day that they ask for. You could even tell the girl on the street you like her outfit. Hopefully, she’ll tell you that she likes your shoes.