Ask Anahit: Hobby Horse

I have a 9-5 and also 500 hobbies and goals that I love dearly, how do I balance all these and keep up socially??

Something I tried recently on a week off (it failed on the first day but I think more because, like the noble bear, I don't want to do anything past November) was to block in my activities almost like I am copying down my timetable on the first day of school. This is perfect for those of us who yearn for the days when all we had to do to be loved was hand in our homework and be a delight to teach, and less perfect for those who...what is the phrase? Had a life. Still, given the nature of your question I'm guessing you belong to the former group so: at the start of the week, block things in. First the social things that cannot be moved and then, and this is the important bit, the time you'll spend by yourself doing your pottery or whatever. Pottery, 7-9pm on Thursday. You're busy! You have an appointment! You can't possibly say yes to anything else! I think part of having a rich internal world is making commitments to yourself like you would anyone else and sticking to them.

Another useful trick, and this might seem to contradict the previous point but stick with me, is to sometimes bring friends into these activities. Very often we see our social life as distinct from our 'real' life, but siloing friends away from the lived reality of our life makes both scheduling and intimacy more difficult. Do some of your hobbies with them, invite them over for a work-from-home session if that’s available to you, go on errands together, send voicenotes while wrist-deep in clay. You’ll be surprised how much time opens up when you’re not seeing time as a dedication to one pursuit, but more a way to enrich various aspects of your life concurrently.

The other tip I have is to accept you can’t do everything and that’s OK. Sometimes the desire to do something is just as important as doing it: there is only a finite amount of time, but an infinite amount of yearning for the ability to crochet a sock, and it is in the yearning that we open ourselves up to the world. Do I really believe this or is it just a way of justifying late-stage capitalism? Maybe the real answer is quit your job, stage the Communist revolution, and take back that 9-5.

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