Ask Anahit: All the Single... Men?

Every single man I am interested in turns out to have a beautiful lady at home! Where the hell are the single men??!

Nowhere! They don’t exist!! It’s really fucking annoying!

Every now and then something will occur that will make me realise that as much as we like to pretend we have evolved as a society, we could nevertheless airdrop Jane Austen into our modern dating scene and after her initial disorientation she would be like, yes this is extremely familiar to me and here is a beautiful novel about it. I think this every time I go to a wedding as a single woman and all the couples act like they are in an exclusive-entry cult, and every time someone in a happy relationship gives me well-meaning and idiotic dating advice. And I also think this whenever I look at the gendered nature of dating and how fucked women who fancy men are.

Bluntly put, men have more social capital which means they are more in demand which means they are usually not available. I’m sorry but it’s true. If you are a moderately attractive man (I was going to add kind and stable but to be honest those do not matter even slightly) you are in high demand and will therefore not be single for very long. If you are an inordinately attractive and intelligent and interesting woman, you might very well die alone. Them’s the breaks. Mr Darcy acts like a cunt and he has like 20 women obsessed with him. Lizzy Bennet is cool and hot and funny and Mr Collins proposes to her. I really do believe that this, and not the pain of childbirth, is the curse Eve’s original sin saddled us with.

I don’t really have much of a solution here except to keep trying and hoping. Supply and demand is at the end of the day a numbers game (or something?? If you are a sexy economist and would like to explain this further, hmu) so you just have to wait for it to work out. The only other solution is polyamory but to be quite honest if Jane Austen knew what being the third in an existing relationship was she would write a scathing novel on why it is a terrible idea and she would be right. Be patient! Keep trying! Buy a vibrator! Good luck :)

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