Tick Tock Lullaby

There’s a scene in Will and Grace where Jack says the "great unspoken gay secret" is that most gay movies are dreadful. Sadly, Tick Tock Lullaby doesn’t do much to disprove this. Sasha (writer and director Gornick) and girlfriend Maya (Cassidy) cruise for men to get drunk and seduce, in between long bouts of philosophising and reading the Guardian. Fiona and Steve want a baby, but can’t quite get it on in bed. Fiona’s ghastly, gorgeous, and somewhat pervy sister Gillian lures a succession of very young men to her flat, to photograph then relieve of their sperm. Mooted as a ‘smart, quirky comedy,’ Gornick’s interminable narration coupled with the insistent background muzak dries out any possible laughs, while the characters are one-dimensional, overly verbose and, in all honesty, odious. For a film solely about baby-making, Lullaby is notably lacking in romance, making it a pretty unlovable little number. [Djuna Bee]