Jack Said

In a surreal cameo, snooker star Jimmy White has his fingers cut off by undercover cop Jack (Simon Phillips). Worryingly, The Whirlwind has more acting ability in his remaining pinky finger than Phillips’ entire tubby frame. The lead is snookered from the start, though, as the script for this film noir/crime thriller feels like The Bill’s writing team have gotten their talons on a new Harry Palmer film – clutching at every cliché of the respective genres along the way. Jack’s mission is to take down a London gang headed by the ‘Guv’nor’ (bizarrely played posthumously by a CGI’d Mike Reid) and his Nuts magazine model daughters. Jack must also find friend and former gang member, Nathan (played by a rather sheepish Danny Dyer), who’s forced to go underground after robbing from the stereotypical cockney gangsters. Respective stars for Jimmy White’s efforts and the cinematography, which at least make this mental torture easy on the eye.